I fucking love this, McFly is jealous of me and Sam. Not that Sam & I are even a thing yet, it's just clear that he likes me and that I'm not impartial to him. But goshdarnit, McFly is definitely jealous (in his own twisted way).
I get the following message from him after enquiring whether or not he was studying at uni:
"I just woke up, might pass on that one. When can we meet up? / When are you MEETING with Sam? lol"
The fact that he is asking to "meet up" with me for no particular reason (he never ever does that, he's more of a take than a give kind of a guy when it comes to appointment scheduling) means that he wants me to sleep with/love him.
Crystal clear.
Asking when I'm meeting Sam just clarifies this point further, McFly wants to have me before I'm no longer attainable.
I love life.
Ps. I'll post about last Saturday soon!!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Feast & Famine
Friday
This was the first Friday since the beginning of the year that I have not been out on the town. And probably the 3rd Friday since I came of age that I haven't been to Slew.
Yes, I realise that I am becoming a scene queen, SHHH.
Instead, I decided that I should stay at home and study for my exams on Monday and Tuesday (now well & truly done, thank goodness). Good on them, my parents chose this of all nights to go out to a part & leave me at home alone. A perfect predrinks opportunity, I think so! But no taking advantage of it for me.
I quite badly wanted some visitors though, just for an hour or two, so I asked Blondie J what she was doing. Sadly, she was having Jaydee and Cat over to her place for chocolate eating & The Notebook watching. I decided that I couldn't take that much time out of my study schedule, things needed to be done.
It was probably a good thing that I stayed home, because come 6pm there was a knock on my door. For a second I thought it was going to be Zara and James as they'd said they might drop by on their way elsewhere, but when I opened up, who was standing there but McFly.
Turns out he wanted to borrow my psych textbook (we're doing the same unit) to study for the exam. In typical McFly fashion he never bought the book for himself. How can someone with such loaded parents be so cheap? I often ponder this.
So I agreed to lend it to him for tonight if he brought it back tomorrow.
But that wasn't all he had come for.
It turns out that last Friday had gotten McFly into some serious hot water. Marta, feeling a little raw after finding out that McFly had no intentions of ever dating her, had told a friend of hers about what had happened. She included such details as "two girls in one bed" and "McFly is seeing some girl and/or multiple girls". This friend had probably told another friend who told another friend who told a girl who is a notorious gossip. This girl in turn told a close friend of ANOTHER girl who McFly has been seeing on and off for about a year and a half now, Hana.
Bad choice.
This girl Hana is a little bit in love with McFly and despite having known him for the same amount of time as I have, does not seem to have grasped the fact that he is incapable of commitment and will never love her back. I really do feel sorry for her. True, McFly should have stopped leading her on months ago, but he seems to have continued seeing her not only for selfish reasons, but also because she wont let him go. Which kind of stops me feeling sorry for her and makes me think she's a bit of an idiot.
Long story short, upon hearing about McFly's exploits (mercifully sans my name), Hana called him and demanded an explanation. Somehow this conversation ended with him agreeing to officially date her.
WHAT THE FUCK MCFLY?!??!!
He doesn't even like her. He just feels like he "owes it to her" because he's "fucked her around so much". I tried to explain to him that it isn't going to make her feel any better if he's just dating her out of obligation and/or pity, but he "doesn't want to hurt her any more than he already has".
Suck it up McFly, if you don't want her, break it off.
This is what I told him anyway, but he just wont take my advice.
So we spent a good two hours discussing this situation and whether or not it was my fault because I'd told Marta about the other girls in the first place. I maintain that he made his bed when he decided to date multiple girls without making it clear to them that he was just hanging out with them, nothing serious; and now he has to lie in it.
Do you agree?
Oh, and to top it all of, we have this exchange:
M: "Oh, Gray, if only you would like me, then everything would be fine."
G: "But I do like you? You know that."
M: *Shrugs* "Not enough to pursue me."
G: "I didn't think you'd want me to pursue."
M: "Tell you what, if you get me out of this mess, I'll date you. Either now or sometime in the future."
G: "Are you serious?????"
M: "Sure I am."
G: "But I wouldn't want you to date me just because you felt obliged to. That's no fun."
M: "Ok. Whatever. Suit yourself."
Truly McFly, I don't get you. You so often talk about how good we would be together, but then spend the other half of the time pointing out why we wouldn't work out. And surely if you wanted me you would have me already.
Actually, no, I do get you. You want me to keep on digging you so you feel special and you want my emotional support. That's ok, you've got the support regardless. Let's just be best friends? Oh who am I kidding, I'll probably always have a niggling little yen for you, even though you are a complete bastard.
But fuck it, it certainly makes life more interesting.
This was the first Friday since the beginning of the year that I have not been out on the town. And probably the 3rd Friday since I came of age that I haven't been to Slew.
Yes, I realise that I am becoming a scene queen, SHHH.
Instead, I decided that I should stay at home and study for my exams on Monday and Tuesday (now well & truly done, thank goodness). Good on them, my parents chose this of all nights to go out to a part & leave me at home alone. A perfect predrinks opportunity, I think so! But no taking advantage of it for me.
I quite badly wanted some visitors though, just for an hour or two, so I asked Blondie J what she was doing. Sadly, she was having Jaydee and Cat over to her place for chocolate eating & The Notebook watching. I decided that I couldn't take that much time out of my study schedule, things needed to be done.
It was probably a good thing that I stayed home, because come 6pm there was a knock on my door. For a second I thought it was going to be Zara and James as they'd said they might drop by on their way elsewhere, but when I opened up, who was standing there but McFly.
Turns out he wanted to borrow my psych textbook (we're doing the same unit) to study for the exam. In typical McFly fashion he never bought the book for himself. How can someone with such loaded parents be so cheap? I often ponder this.
So I agreed to lend it to him for tonight if he brought it back tomorrow.
But that wasn't all he had come for.
It turns out that last Friday had gotten McFly into some serious hot water. Marta, feeling a little raw after finding out that McFly had no intentions of ever dating her, had told a friend of hers about what had happened. She included such details as "two girls in one bed" and "McFly is seeing some girl and/or multiple girls". This friend had probably told another friend who told another friend who told a girl who is a notorious gossip. This girl in turn told a close friend of ANOTHER girl who McFly has been seeing on and off for about a year and a half now, Hana.
Bad choice.
This girl Hana is a little bit in love with McFly and despite having known him for the same amount of time as I have, does not seem to have grasped the fact that he is incapable of commitment and will never love her back. I really do feel sorry for her. True, McFly should have stopped leading her on months ago, but he seems to have continued seeing her not only for selfish reasons, but also because she wont let him go. Which kind of stops me feeling sorry for her and makes me think she's a bit of an idiot.
Long story short, upon hearing about McFly's exploits (mercifully sans my name), Hana called him and demanded an explanation. Somehow this conversation ended with him agreeing to officially date her.
WHAT THE FUCK MCFLY?!??!!
He doesn't even like her. He just feels like he "owes it to her" because he's "fucked her around so much". I tried to explain to him that it isn't going to make her feel any better if he's just dating her out of obligation and/or pity, but he "doesn't want to hurt her any more than he already has".
Suck it up McFly, if you don't want her, break it off.
This is what I told him anyway, but he just wont take my advice.
So we spent a good two hours discussing this situation and whether or not it was my fault because I'd told Marta about the other girls in the first place. I maintain that he made his bed when he decided to date multiple girls without making it clear to them that he was just hanging out with them, nothing serious; and now he has to lie in it.
Do you agree?
Oh, and to top it all of, we have this exchange:
M: "Oh, Gray, if only you would like me, then everything would be fine."
G: "But I do like you? You know that."
M: *Shrugs* "Not enough to pursue me."
G: "I didn't think you'd want me to pursue."
M: "Tell you what, if you get me out of this mess, I'll date you. Either now or sometime in the future."
G: "Are you serious?????"
M: "Sure I am."
G: "But I wouldn't want you to date me just because you felt obliged to. That's no fun."
M: "Ok. Whatever. Suit yourself."
Truly McFly, I don't get you. You so often talk about how good we would be together, but then spend the other half of the time pointing out why we wouldn't work out. And surely if you wanted me you would have me already.
Actually, no, I do get you. You want me to keep on digging you so you feel special and you want my emotional support. That's ok, you've got the support regardless. Let's just be best friends? Oh who am I kidding, I'll probably always have a niggling little yen for you, even though you are a complete bastard.
But fuck it, it certainly makes life more interesting.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Power Corrupts
I've been studying so hard for exams, you'd think I couldn't fit anything blogworthy into my week. Right?
Wronggggggggggg.
Thursday
The first part of the day I spent studying like a good little student, but around lunchtime (while I was watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl, yes I am shameless) I got a message from an old flame.
Her name is Zara and a few years ago, when I was about 16, she fucked with my head mercilessly. We didn't live in the same city, but somehow I completely fell for her. It was ridiculous I know! But this was a long time ago, so I have well & truly gotten over it. Pretty much.
Thing is, she's back in town "for good" (she fails pretty dismally at staying in one place for very long, but vows that this one is for realll) and due to my recent arrival on the club scene we now seem to have a lot of mutual friends.
Today, she asked me if she could come & visit me on her way back from the birthday lunch of her favourite gay boy James (who is now a fair-to-good acquaintance of mine). I didn't want to interrupt my parents (sidenote: there is no way I'm moving out while I'm still at uni, this is too sweet a deal) so I said I would come & meet them somewhere. Half an hour later saw me, a little nervous but oh so confident that I am now the hotter, more successful, happier one; walking up to their table at Our House (a very confusingly named bar/restaurant in town).
Keep in mind that this is the first time I have seen her in 2 years.
I was completely and utterly right about being the hotter one (she's gained weight, I've lost it & gotten a far better haircut than at 16) and the fact that I don't really care about her anymore gives me the upper hand.
"I have hand!" as George in Seinfeld would say.
So as James and I gossiped away about friends & ex-lovers, Zara was messaging me from across the table:
I'm terrible, right?
But see, this really isn't me at all. I am not the manipulator. I get manipulated. It's just that this time, the tables have turned and I can't help myself. She fucked with me SO MUCH and maybe I do still want to hook up with her now, if only to gain some sense of closure. You know; "She who I wanted once, now wants me". Full circle accomplished.
Let's just hope that I don't get sucked into playing this game too much.
There are boys like Sam and McFly to think of, after all. Not to mention my mental health.
More about the Zara situation in my upcoming post about Saturday.
Gray xx
Wronggggggggggg.
Thursday
The first part of the day I spent studying like a good little student, but around lunchtime (while I was watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl, yes I am shameless) I got a message from an old flame.
Her name is Zara and a few years ago, when I was about 16, she fucked with my head mercilessly. We didn't live in the same city, but somehow I completely fell for her. It was ridiculous I know! But this was a long time ago, so I have well & truly gotten over it. Pretty much.
Thing is, she's back in town "for good" (she fails pretty dismally at staying in one place for very long, but vows that this one is for realll) and due to my recent arrival on the club scene we now seem to have a lot of mutual friends.
Today, she asked me if she could come & visit me on her way back from the birthday lunch of her favourite gay boy James (who is now a fair-to-good acquaintance of mine). I didn't want to interrupt my parents (sidenote: there is no way I'm moving out while I'm still at uni, this is too sweet a deal) so I said I would come & meet them somewhere. Half an hour later saw me, a little nervous but oh so confident that I am now the hotter, more successful, happier one; walking up to their table at Our House (a very confusingly named bar/restaurant in town).
Keep in mind that this is the first time I have seen her in 2 years.
I was completely and utterly right about being the hotter one (she's gained weight, I've lost it & gotten a far better haircut than at 16) and the fact that I don't really care about her anymore gives me the upper hand.
"I have hand!" as George in Seinfeld would say.
So as James and I gossiped away about friends & ex-lovers, Zara was messaging me from across the table:
"I really want to kiss you."
"You drive me crazy."
"Not just because I'm drunk but I really want you."
"I like, wow, I don't know Gray, I'm blown away."
"You look amazing."
And through all of this I can't help but give her just a liiiiiiiitle bit, but not enough to committ myself to anything.
I'm terrible, right?
But see, this really isn't me at all. I am not the manipulator. I get manipulated. It's just that this time, the tables have turned and I can't help myself. She fucked with me SO MUCH and maybe I do still want to hook up with her now, if only to gain some sense of closure. You know; "She who I wanted once, now wants me". Full circle accomplished.
Let's just hope that I don't get sucked into playing this game too much.
There are boys like Sam and McFly to think of, after all. Not to mention my mental health.
More about the Zara situation in my upcoming post about Saturday.
Gray xx
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Rainy Days In Bed
Aren't they just wonderful?
So anyway. Just in case you were hanging out for the story? Dan DID call and come over Monday night. We ate dinner with my mum and then watched some TV with my sister. Watched some Seinfeld on DVD alone. Slept and woke up at 8am to listen to the thunder rattling the windows and cuddle. Enjoyed a day alone in my house on the big fold out bed with hundreds of pillows. Looked for my poor pup, who ran away becuase he's so scared of thunder! Found the silly thing. Watched Mullholland Drive (does anyone here understand that movie at all??). Had some billies with my little brother and his friends on the verandah. Watched Zoolander and giggled and and ate a packet of easter eggs. Talked in the dark about heaps of things that have been worrying about lately. Drifted off to sleep again. He left while I was sleeping this morning to make it home in time for band practise. What was I so worried about? Why do us girls always have to work ourselves up to be so paranoid about everything?
I'm about to go run some errands and hang with Grace then Jaydee. I booked my GP placement on the phone this morning! I'm scared. I have to give people needles and other various terrifying procedures. And I have my first session the day after I return from the boozy mid-year break vacation to a little island off the coast... Here's hoping I have some brain cells and dignity left by then!
Blondie J xoxoxo
So anyway. Just in case you were hanging out for the story? Dan DID call and come over Monday night. We ate dinner with my mum and then watched some TV with my sister. Watched some Seinfeld on DVD alone. Slept and woke up at 8am to listen to the thunder rattling the windows and cuddle. Enjoyed a day alone in my house on the big fold out bed with hundreds of pillows. Looked for my poor pup, who ran away becuase he's so scared of thunder! Found the silly thing. Watched Mullholland Drive (does anyone here understand that movie at all??). Had some billies with my little brother and his friends on the verandah. Watched Zoolander and giggled and and ate a packet of easter eggs. Talked in the dark about heaps of things that have been worrying about lately. Drifted off to sleep again. He left while I was sleeping this morning to make it home in time for band practise. What was I so worried about? Why do us girls always have to work ourselves up to be so paranoid about everything?
I'm about to go run some errands and hang with Grace then Jaydee. I booked my GP placement on the phone this morning! I'm scared. I have to give people needles and other various terrifying procedures. And I have my first session the day after I return from the boozy mid-year break vacation to a little island off the coast... Here's hoping I have some brain cells and dignity left by then!
Blondie J xoxoxo
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Fake Fur & Secret Admirers
Yeah, I'm procrastinating to avoid exam study.
Don't judge.
But seriously, Introduction to Regression just isn't looking too appealing, especially considering I did it all in high school.
So here comes the story of Saturday night!
Saturday
Where did I leave you after the story of Friday? Oh that's right, I'd just gotten off the train back from Nokle's house with McFly after he told me some things he probably didn't mean & went to meet The Girl.
Well, I went home, showered and ate and did other boring things you don't really care about.
The more interesting part comes at 5pm when Shark arrived at my house, arms full of dresses, pizza and makeup.
Clearly all very important items when preparing for a 21st.
The theme was ultra-formal so we got all glammed up, me in a backless champagne number, draped with a fur (fake, of course) which I'd picked up as a lark years ago. Our good friend Kate arrived at mine and we got the pre-party underway. Ok, it wasn't really a pre-party, unless you count sitting around in formal wear eating pizza & drinking Passiona as pres. Which I do not.
Just to make us feel even more like we were on our way to the befores for some boy's school's Year 12 Ball, Shark's mother offered to drive us to the party, which of course we accepted, considering it was a good half hour away. Only problem was, she wanted to leave as soon as possible (you know how early parents like to be at home & comfortable!).
So we arrived literally 5 minutes after it started.
Here's where I put an imaginary gun to my head and pull the imaginary trigger.
I really did not know enough people at Aleks Duke's 21st well enough to be there at 7:35. Oh well! Shark certainly had a good time, mingling away with all the uni kids she knew through doing plays last year with the uni Dramatic Society. Ugh.
Pity we were pretty over-dressed as well, at least the fur kept me warm!
Kate and I spent the better part of the first hour swapping stories about our love lives; me telling her about recent McFly developments and the ongoing search for the Secret Admirer, and her letting me in on the goss about her new boy Kamil (!!).
Thankfully there was a bar tab, so we got right into the red wine & champs.
I was really waiting for the Castle kids to get there though, so I was pretty happy when McFly, Charlie, Andy, Max Dunkeld and his girlfriend Lucy-Grace rocked up.
Highlights of the party:
Don't judge.
But seriously, Introduction to Regression just isn't looking too appealing, especially considering I did it all in high school.
So here comes the story of Saturday night!
Saturday
Where did I leave you after the story of Friday? Oh that's right, I'd just gotten off the train back from Nokle's house with McFly after he told me some things he probably didn't mean & went to meet The Girl.
Well, I went home, showered and ate and did other boring things you don't really care about.
The more interesting part comes at 5pm when Shark arrived at my house, arms full of dresses, pizza and makeup.
Clearly all very important items when preparing for a 21st.
The theme was ultra-formal so we got all glammed up, me in a backless champagne number, draped with a fur (fake, of course) which I'd picked up as a lark years ago. Our good friend Kate arrived at mine and we got the pre-party underway. Ok, it wasn't really a pre-party, unless you count sitting around in formal wear eating pizza & drinking Passiona as pres. Which I do not.
Just to make us feel even more like we were on our way to the befores for some boy's school's Year 12 Ball, Shark's mother offered to drive us to the party, which of course we accepted, considering it was a good half hour away. Only problem was, she wanted to leave as soon as possible (you know how early parents like to be at home & comfortable!).
So we arrived literally 5 minutes after it started.
Here's where I put an imaginary gun to my head and pull the imaginary trigger.
I really did not know enough people at Aleks Duke's 21st well enough to be there at 7:35. Oh well! Shark certainly had a good time, mingling away with all the uni kids she knew through doing plays last year with the uni Dramatic Society. Ugh.
Pity we were pretty over-dressed as well, at least the fur kept me warm!
Kate and I spent the better part of the first hour swapping stories about our love lives; me telling her about recent McFly developments and the ongoing search for the Secret Admirer, and her letting me in on the goss about her new boy Kamil (!!).
Thankfully there was a bar tab, so we got right into the red wine & champs.
I was really waiting for the Castle kids to get there though, so I was pretty happy when McFly, Charlie, Andy, Max Dunkeld and his girlfriend Lucy-Grace rocked up.
Highlights of the party:
- Hilarious stories about the shady/drunken past of Aleks Duke
- MORE teasing from Charlie about the identity of my secret admirer
- Free wine
- Talking Kate into taking her first ever drag of a cigarette (sorry baby! I usually hate smoking, I don't know what came over me)
- Having Shark talk me into calling Dan, the guy I lost my virginity to while he had a fiancee (I DIDN'T KNOW) and was my boss. It was because she wanted him to hook us up with some pills. Apparently he is more likely to give them to me than her. Probably true, as he still wants to sleep with/date me. Ugh, horrible.
- Shark managing to elbow my in the face during a rather unfortunate turn on the dancefloor; my nose & front teeth still hurt today :
- Driving out & away in the direction of Slew with my favourite two Castle Kids, Charlie and McFly.
Slew was pretty average this night. It may have been because it was a Saturday, and Slew is NEVER as good on Saturdays as on Fridays. Fridays = indie kids dedicated to the scene; Saturdays = electro/miscellaneous characters who come because there's a connecting door open on Saturdays between Slew and Washington, a mainstream electro lobbers' heaven right next door. It also may have been because I was utterly and completely sober by the time we got to Slew, while pretty much everyone else was on something (as per usual).
The only real news to report here is the identity of My Secret Admirer.
Charlie finally caved and told McFly who confirmed that it was who I thought it was: Sam.
When asked what I thought about this, I was kind of lost for an answer. Sam is lovely and cute and totally my type, but I'm not sure if I like him enough to lead him down the garden path, or so to speak.
It doesn't help that McFly is trying harder than ever to ensure my allegiance now he well and truly knows about my yen for him. He's been messaging me about random things/to hang out all week (something he never did before)! The thing about McFly is that no matter how much I tell myself he's an asshole who only wants me to like him because of some deep-seated insecurity, he remains the most attractive man I have ever met in my life. And I feel so comfortable and right with him!
However, I have decided that maybe it's time to turn over a new leaf. Things with McFly will never be any better than they are now, and they're pretty shit at the moment. Let's just see how this Sam thing pans out, maybe if Charlie's right about him liking me we could have something fun :)
Your flattered & somewhat excited blogger, Gray.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Single Beds Are Not Made for 3 People & Other Lessons Learnt
Hey kids, Gray here.
I just got back from spending the day at uni when I really didn't have to be there (it's study break). I saw the most beautiful sunset (pink & grey) on my way home though, so at least that made up for it.
Because I love you (and because I have run out of concentration), I am going to tell you the story of my weekend instead of writing my assignment which is due tomorrow morn at 9.
Friday
This was the first day I felt like a real person (ie. not sick as a dog) all week! As Blondie J mentioned, my Friday started with some study and then a visit from her. This was to drop off a dvd, Sweet Sixteen (which I actually never got to watch, sorry Blondie!), but ended up being a goss sesh as per usual. I told her about the seriously unsettling conversation I had with McFly the night before, during which he pushed me to tell him what I thought his character flaws were until about 1am (for the record: selfish, incapable of empathy, unreliable to the point of ridiculousness). This put me in an incredibly bad mood & generally made me annoyed at him, especially when he started complaining that some girl who used to like him was now with another guy - note here that he didn't want her at all, he just wanted her to like him! He's such a dickhead sometimes.
Blondie made me laugh pretty hard with her copy of Cleo and then drove me to uni because she got all paranoid about Dan reading her old msn conversations (which were admittedly full of embarassing references to him) on her laptop which he had borrowed. So we visited Dan & he sorted out a few flips for me (the same ones I had last weekend, WHICH WERE AMAZING). Then I went off to sort out some uni stuff and recieved a message from Charlie asking me if I was at End of Semester Show - this is just everyone hanging out at the tav at uni on the last day of semester & getting legless. I thought I'd give it a go, but was adamant that I wouldn't drink, given that I was recovering from that darned tonsillitis. So I went & met Charlie at the tav for some chats. Turns out everyone I hadn't seen for a week was there, so I got all the chats I wanted :)
Charlie was already admirably drunk for 2 in the afternoon when I arrived and in this state was all droopy-eyed & lovely. I think we planned to have a roadtrip at the end of the year sometime. A drug-fueled road trip. I'm so up for it! Not surprisingly, it only took him about an hour to talk me into finishing his beer. Following that, I decided that the floodgates had been opened, so I may as well let the liquor run freely.
Daquiris all round!
Here's where it starts to get exciting:
C: "I really shouldn't be telling you this ... but I'm drunk enough that I don't care ..."
G: "Ooo what Charlie?!?! Tellll meeeeee :D"
C: "You have a secret admirer."
G: "WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHO?!?!"
C: "Well I can't tell you that. For starters I can tell you that it's a guy."
G: "Ok ok. Can you give me any more hints?"
C: "Well he's part of the usual scene. We hang out with him a fair bit. And I don't know how close you are to him, but you knew him from before. You're definitely friends. I haven't spoken to him about this yet, but people have been talking and Andy has been dropping hints about it."
G: "Nooooo that's so not enough, you have to tell me!! Ok. Well. I have an inkiling of who it may be. But wait. That couldn't be right. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
Here's me weighing up the possibilities.
Oh, and it's NOT McFly.
I spent most of the rest of the afternoon/evening chatting to Charlie, my lovely friend Clara who is a regular at Slew and speaks like a true thespian, McFly (who came up to me and gave me a huge hug, initiated by nuzzling into my neck; oh McFly) and Charlie's ex girlfriend Sara. Now, it's pretty great that Charlie and Sara are speaking again because they are both such fun to hang out with, I loved spending time with them when they were together. Now it can happen again without being awkward!
Come closing time at the tav, we all ended up in Charlie's car being driven to someone's house; with the exception of Clara and (unfortunately) the addition of Mark Nokle. Now, Mark Nokle is an ok guy, don't get me wrong. But he's a bit fucking weird. And on an odd weekend with McFly and a girl he was seeing at the time, Mark Nokle hit on me pretty hard and scared the living daylights out of me. No. Way. In. Hell.
The house we ended up at was pretty unexciting, just some people smoking j's and shooting the shit. Nokle seemed particularly unimpressed as he managed to fall asleep in the middle of a stranger's couch, surrounded by people he didn't know. At 8:30 at night.
Thank goodness Sara had the presence of mind to take photos.
After we got too bored we hit the road & picked up some fast food to munch on. Sara and I got a serious case of the giggles in the back seat & it reminded me how different it is to hang out with girls! I clearly don't get enough B/J/C time anymore.
On our way to the next party, we picked up Marta who had been waiting at a trainstation patiently for AGES (all thanks to the notoriously unreliable McFly). Marta is a fresher (read: first year uni) who McFly has "taken under his wing" (yes, cue ominous music here).
Problem with the next party is that it was an 18th (how weird to be going to one of those these days) that had a list. And we were not on that list. Thankfully (or not so thankfully, as the case may be) Nokle literally lived on the same street as this girl so we just went back to his house.
Shortly after arriving Charlie decided he wanted to get out of there, but as Marta was underage we couldn't take her out on the town with us. So Charlie left and took Sara home and McFly, Marta and I prepared for a night in at Nokle's.
Experiences of note, pre-bedtime:
G: "Ahhh at the moment pretty much just her, but he's really not a girlfriend kind of a guy. He's always hooking up with multiple girls."
M: "Oh god."
G: "Oh Marta, seriously, take it from someone who's been there - DON'T GET INVOLVED."
M: "It's a bit late for that. I hooked up with him a few weeks ago. And I don't know, I just really like him and he said that he likes me too but doesn't want a relationship right now. My friend Faith said that he's probably just insecure and actually does want to go out with me, but I just have to give it time."
G: "NONONONONONONO, I'm so, so sorry, but that's absolutely not it. McFly does not date girls. Not anymore. And if he does want to date them, he does it as soon as he can. Plus, he's leaving at the end of the year Marta."
M: "Ohhh I don't know, he hasn't planned it yet at all, he's leaving his exchange stuff to the last minute..."
G: "Trust me, the moment he can get out of here, he will. Don't keep your hopes up thinking he'll stick around."
And she didn't even know I'd hooked up with him! Poor love. It was like talking to myself at that time last year. Not a fun experience.
Given this conversation, the train ride home was a little awkward. Marta and I spent most of it in pissed-off, stony silence. Me, because he had done this to ANOTHER girl, the asshole (and probably didn't mean anything he'd said in our previous weird conversation) and Marta because I'd crushed her hopes of being with him with the harsh truth.
After she got off the train, I told McFly about my conversation with Marta. He wasn't exactly happy, but he wasn't apologetic either. He has no concept of how painful it is to be led on like that!
Just to top everything off, (McFly knows how to keep me on side), he dropped another veritable bomb:
"If only I were a one-woman man. Because if I were a one-woman man, then I think that Gray would be that woman."
Then he traipsed off to meet his girl (after offering for me to meet her - how is that awkward Gray, I don't understand?).
Questions to ponder for this post: Who is my secret admirer? Is McFly serious, or is he just fucking with me like everyone else? Will Marta hate me a little bit forever for telling her about the realities of McFly? Was that even the right thing to do???
That's all for tonight lovelies, I'll update you on Saturday's happenings tomorrow (stay tuned for admirer revelations!)
Gray xx
I just got back from spending the day at uni when I really didn't have to be there (it's study break). I saw the most beautiful sunset (pink & grey) on my way home though, so at least that made up for it.
Because I love you (and because I have run out of concentration), I am going to tell you the story of my weekend instead of writing my assignment which is due tomorrow morn at 9.
Friday
This was the first day I felt like a real person (ie. not sick as a dog) all week! As Blondie J mentioned, my Friday started with some study and then a visit from her. This was to drop off a dvd, Sweet Sixteen (which I actually never got to watch, sorry Blondie!), but ended up being a goss sesh as per usual. I told her about the seriously unsettling conversation I had with McFly the night before, during which he pushed me to tell him what I thought his character flaws were until about 1am (for the record: selfish, incapable of empathy, unreliable to the point of ridiculousness). This put me in an incredibly bad mood & generally made me annoyed at him, especially when he started complaining that some girl who used to like him was now with another guy - note here that he didn't want her at all, he just wanted her to like him! He's such a dickhead sometimes.
Blondie made me laugh pretty hard with her copy of Cleo and then drove me to uni because she got all paranoid about Dan reading her old msn conversations (which were admittedly full of embarassing references to him) on her laptop which he had borrowed. So we visited Dan & he sorted out a few flips for me (the same ones I had last weekend, WHICH WERE AMAZING). Then I went off to sort out some uni stuff and recieved a message from Charlie asking me if I was at End of Semester Show - this is just everyone hanging out at the tav at uni on the last day of semester & getting legless. I thought I'd give it a go, but was adamant that I wouldn't drink, given that I was recovering from that darned tonsillitis. So I went & met Charlie at the tav for some chats. Turns out everyone I hadn't seen for a week was there, so I got all the chats I wanted :)
Charlie was already admirably drunk for 2 in the afternoon when I arrived and in this state was all droopy-eyed & lovely. I think we planned to have a roadtrip at the end of the year sometime. A drug-fueled road trip. I'm so up for it! Not surprisingly, it only took him about an hour to talk me into finishing his beer. Following that, I decided that the floodgates had been opened, so I may as well let the liquor run freely.
Daquiris all round!
Here's where it starts to get exciting:
C: "I really shouldn't be telling you this ... but I'm drunk enough that I don't care ..."
G: "Ooo what Charlie?!?! Tellll meeeeee :D"
C: "You have a secret admirer."
G: "WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHO?!?!"
C: "Well I can't tell you that. For starters I can tell you that it's a guy."
G: "Ok ok. Can you give me any more hints?"
C: "Well he's part of the usual scene. We hang out with him a fair bit. And I don't know how close you are to him, but you knew him from before. You're definitely friends. I haven't spoken to him about this yet, but people have been talking and Andy has been dropping hints about it."
G: "Nooooo that's so not enough, you have to tell me!! Ok. Well. I have an inkiling of who it may be. But wait. That couldn't be right. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
Here's me weighing up the possibilities.
Oh, and it's NOT McFly.
I spent most of the rest of the afternoon/evening chatting to Charlie, my lovely friend Clara who is a regular at Slew and speaks like a true thespian, McFly (who came up to me and gave me a huge hug, initiated by nuzzling into my neck; oh McFly) and Charlie's ex girlfriend Sara. Now, it's pretty great that Charlie and Sara are speaking again because they are both such fun to hang out with, I loved spending time with them when they were together. Now it can happen again without being awkward!
Come closing time at the tav, we all ended up in Charlie's car being driven to someone's house; with the exception of Clara and (unfortunately) the addition of Mark Nokle. Now, Mark Nokle is an ok guy, don't get me wrong. But he's a bit fucking weird. And on an odd weekend with McFly and a girl he was seeing at the time, Mark Nokle hit on me pretty hard and scared the living daylights out of me. No. Way. In. Hell.
The house we ended up at was pretty unexciting, just some people smoking j's and shooting the shit. Nokle seemed particularly unimpressed as he managed to fall asleep in the middle of a stranger's couch, surrounded by people he didn't know. At 8:30 at night.
Thank goodness Sara had the presence of mind to take photos.
After we got too bored we hit the road & picked up some fast food to munch on. Sara and I got a serious case of the giggles in the back seat & it reminded me how different it is to hang out with girls! I clearly don't get enough B/J/C time anymore.
On our way to the next party, we picked up Marta who had been waiting at a trainstation patiently for AGES (all thanks to the notoriously unreliable McFly). Marta is a fresher (read: first year uni) who McFly has "taken under his wing" (yes, cue ominous music here).
Problem with the next party is that it was an 18th (how weird to be going to one of those these days) that had a list. And we were not on that list. Thankfully (or not so thankfully, as the case may be) Nokle literally lived on the same street as this girl so we just went back to his house.
Shortly after arriving Charlie decided he wanted to get out of there, but as Marta was underage we couldn't take her out on the town with us. So Charlie left and took Sara home and McFly, Marta and I prepared for a night in at Nokle's.
Experiences of note, pre-bedtime:
- Raiding Nokle's fridge & finding very little
- Riding on an electric scooter to the corner shop to buy ingredients for nachos (nb. this was under great duress, neither Marta nor I wished to ride on the back of one of those flimsy things while gripping on to Nokle's shoulders for dear life, but we both were forced to)
- Warm milo
- Watching Karate Kid till 2am
- Seeing Nokle fall asleep on yet another couch in company, this time his own
So here comes the fun part. There are a total of 3 beds in Nokle's house. One of them is Nokle's. The other is his dad's. The third is a spare.
There is absolutely no way in hell anyone was going to sleep in Nokle's bed, for fear of having him join at some ungodly hour (shudder). And no one wanted to chance sleeping in his dad's bed, in case he came home to find us there (awkwardddd). So it was the spare room for us. Problem with the spare bed it that it was somewhere between a single and a double bed - so not sufficiently sized for 3 people! But we made it work.
Ok, mostly McFly made it work.
We spent that night with Marta in the middle and McFly's arms encircling her so that his hands could be all over ME on her other side. Yes folks, his hands were down my top & up and down my waist alllllllllllllllll night. With Marta in the middle. Oh and did I mention he tried (and failed) to gun for a threesome? Not surprising considering I get threesome innuendo from him every other day as I'm the only girl he knows who likes girls as well as guys!
Why the hell did I let him do this? Oh, it might have had something to do with the alcohol I'd drunk (while still on antibiotics) or maybe that ritalin I took to stay awake for Karate Kid.
And now here's where it really gets fucked up.
The next morning while McFly was showering, I bitingly mentioned to Marta that if he weren't meant to be meeting up with the girl he was seeing, he would be sleeping through till 5pm.
G: "Ahhh at the moment pretty much just her, but he's really not a girlfriend kind of a guy. He's always hooking up with multiple girls."
M: "Oh god."
G: "Oh Marta, seriously, take it from someone who's been there - DON'T GET INVOLVED."
M: "It's a bit late for that. I hooked up with him a few weeks ago. And I don't know, I just really like him and he said that he likes me too but doesn't want a relationship right now. My friend Faith said that he's probably just insecure and actually does want to go out with me, but I just have to give it time."
G: "NONONONONONONO, I'm so, so sorry, but that's absolutely not it. McFly does not date girls. Not anymore. And if he does want to date them, he does it as soon as he can. Plus, he's leaving at the end of the year Marta."
M: "Ohhh I don't know, he hasn't planned it yet at all, he's leaving his exchange stuff to the last minute..."
G: "Trust me, the moment he can get out of here, he will. Don't keep your hopes up thinking he'll stick around."
And she didn't even know I'd hooked up with him! Poor love. It was like talking to myself at that time last year. Not a fun experience.
Given this conversation, the train ride home was a little awkward. Marta and I spent most of it in pissed-off, stony silence. Me, because he had done this to ANOTHER girl, the asshole (and probably didn't mean anything he'd said in our previous weird conversation) and Marta because I'd crushed her hopes of being with him with the harsh truth.
After she got off the train, I told McFly about my conversation with Marta. He wasn't exactly happy, but he wasn't apologetic either. He has no concept of how painful it is to be led on like that!
Just to top everything off, (McFly knows how to keep me on side), he dropped another veritable bomb:
"If only I were a one-woman man. Because if I were a one-woman man, then I think that Gray would be that woman."
Then he traipsed off to meet his girl (after offering for me to meet her - how is that awkward Gray, I don't understand?).
Questions to ponder for this post: Who is my secret admirer? Is McFly serious, or is he just fucking with me like everyone else? Will Marta hate me a little bit forever for telling her about the realities of McFly? Was that even the right thing to do???
That's all for tonight lovelies, I'll update you on Saturday's happenings tomorrow (stay tuned for admirer revelations!)
Gray xx
Long Weekend
Hey everyone! I'm Blondie J, your other resident trouble-maker. It's Monday mid-afternoon and I've finally come home this morning and showered away adventures since Thursday night. It's been a long and confusing weekend, so here goes with the story.
Thursday night, while Gray was busy analysing certain conversations with McFly, I was cramming hard for my anatomy exam. Having failed the last assessment, I thought I should probably put some effort in. At around midnight, I left my study-cave to go and pick up the boy/friend, Dan, from a loose night at a 19th. Attemps to continue studying back at his were thwarted as he rolled around on the bed drunkenly humming and pretending to drum on my legs/the covers until 4am. After a two-hour catnap, and a failed attempt to get him up to come to uni with me, I headed to study in the library some more before the 9am exam. It ended up being fairly passable!
After the exam I headed to Gray's house to drop off an amazing DVD and of course, for a chat. After laughing at the 'real life' articles in Cleo (hello Mr "Addicted to Randy Dandy the sex doll"!), I dropped her back at uni, and after visiting Dan there, popped home to get ready for the impending night. I showered and put on my face and headed to Jaydee's for outfit steal-age and help with jewellery selection. Jaydee dropped me and my voj at the tav at uni, where Gray and I shared a brief interlude through the gates (I wasn't allowed in!), which included passing over of certain possibly necessary protective items.
I then headed to the lawn and found Dan, who was in a strange and quiet mood, and two of our other friends. We hopped the bus to begin our epic 'pub-crawl', hosted by the student society that he was elected to this year. The voj disappeared quickly and so did my fear of confrontation: 'are you angry with me?', 'do I look okay?', 'are you sure you want me here?' (with the desired responses of "of course not!", "you look amazing!" and "yes, don't leave!". We had a great time until Dan started talking to his ex Britney (technically an ex, although the relationship lasted a literal 4 days and ended for no particular reason). She is a goodlooking and flirtatious girl who I have absolutely no interest in talking to (as I think I demonstrated in my treatment of her friendly and overly perky "Hey, How Are You?"). I should probably mention here that Dan and I have been on/off 'fuck buddies' since Jan '07, but been seeing each other a few times a week in a semi-romantic way since December (other than the brief Britney interlude). Our level of closeness but lack of certainty/official definition of our relationship leads to endless insecurity on my part. Dan is the nicest, most well-meaning and happy-go-lucky guy around 90% of the time, but he has this tendency to occasionally make bad decisions on a whim that hurt people and make him look like a selfish dickhead.
Anyway, I proceeded to have a drunken deep and meaningful with Dan's best friend Grant, and whiny phone calls with Jaydee and Lizzie. Anyway, after a bit of a confrontation with Dan outside the last pub, during which he reassured me he has eyes only for me tonight, and Britney unnecessarily telling him to 'take her home', we headed to meet some better friends (including the beautiful Grace) at a drum'n'bass concert in the city. The music was amazing and I felt endlessly more comfortable in my scene instead of his. The flips probably helped my self-confidence also. The night was amazing, my back cramped from dancing, and I felt a little in love holding hands on the walk home. We had a couple of billies and spooned in a friend's sisters bed for probably 2 hours before the alarm went off for work at 9am. I didn't make it to work however, and slept until 2pm.
Jaydee picked me up in my scattered state and I lay in her bed complaining and telling her all about my night for a couple of hours, until I headed to Cat's to pick her up for my sister's 21st. We hung there for a couple hours (nursing my hangover with vodka redbulls and laughing at my drunk mother and sister) until Dan picked me up en route to drop off flips that he was supplying for friends. On the way to drop Cat home he randomly declared "Hey, I tried to hook up with Holly last night! And by tried to, I mean I think I actually might have, I can't remember though!" ........What? Are you serious? She likes you! You think she is amazingly nice and cute! How am I supposed to not feel weird and threatened by this? How are you being so blasé about it? Why didn't you say anything at the time? How did you act so lovey all night at the dnb gig without any thought of that happening earlier? I can't believe I was paranoid about Britney when it was Holly who I should've been worrying about! I really don't understand this boy sometimes. We stayed at Steven's apartment, our regular haunt for smoking weed as he lives without parents - so jealous - but the futon was uncomfortable and I probably slept less than an hour.
Dan and I spent Sunday sitting around his house playing Playstation and uploading songs to his band's myspace. We had a family dinner with his parents and sister and then headed to Steven's again for some more billies. I wasn't keen on the uncomfortable couch for a second night, so we headed home and distractedly watched some OC (Season 1 of course). Sleeping in a familiar bed was amazing and awkwardness over the Holly situation was long-gone as we cuddled all night.
This morning I am finally at home with time to try and figure out how I feel about everything that happened this weekend. I'm not sure whether Dan is coming over for dinner with my mum tonight and I'm waiting for his call (and half-expecting a "Hey sorry, I'm going to go hang out with Holly tonight instead"). Anyway, my slightly unstable father has gone down the coast for a few days and my mother is heading up north with work tomorrow, so hopefully I can expect a few days of peace and quiet, study and possible nights in with Dan? I'm starting to feel a sore throat (unsurprising considering the level of viruses flying around the scene) and I don't want to end up as bad as Gray was last week, so next post may not be as excitement filled! I'll have to give you the verdict on Dan and whether he chooses to see me this week next time though.
Stay cheerful! xxx
Thursday night, while Gray was busy analysing certain conversations with McFly, I was cramming hard for my anatomy exam. Having failed the last assessment, I thought I should probably put some effort in. At around midnight, I left my study-cave to go and pick up the boy/friend, Dan, from a loose night at a 19th. Attemps to continue studying back at his were thwarted as he rolled around on the bed drunkenly humming and pretending to drum on my legs/the covers until 4am. After a two-hour catnap, and a failed attempt to get him up to come to uni with me, I headed to study in the library some more before the 9am exam. It ended up being fairly passable!
After the exam I headed to Gray's house to drop off an amazing DVD and of course, for a chat. After laughing at the 'real life' articles in Cleo (hello Mr "Addicted to Randy Dandy the sex doll"!), I dropped her back at uni, and after visiting Dan there, popped home to get ready for the impending night. I showered and put on my face and headed to Jaydee's for outfit steal-age and help with jewellery selection. Jaydee dropped me and my voj at the tav at uni, where Gray and I shared a brief interlude through the gates (I wasn't allowed in!), which included passing over of certain possibly necessary protective items.
I then headed to the lawn and found Dan, who was in a strange and quiet mood, and two of our other friends. We hopped the bus to begin our epic 'pub-crawl', hosted by the student society that he was elected to this year. The voj disappeared quickly and so did my fear of confrontation: 'are you angry with me?', 'do I look okay?', 'are you sure you want me here?' (with the desired responses of "of course not!", "you look amazing!" and "yes, don't leave!". We had a great time until Dan started talking to his ex Britney (technically an ex, although the relationship lasted a literal 4 days and ended for no particular reason). She is a goodlooking and flirtatious girl who I have absolutely no interest in talking to (as I think I demonstrated in my treatment of her friendly and overly perky "Hey, How Are You?"). I should probably mention here that Dan and I have been on/off 'fuck buddies' since Jan '07, but been seeing each other a few times a week in a semi-romantic way since December (other than the brief Britney interlude). Our level of closeness but lack of certainty/official definition of our relationship leads to endless insecurity on my part. Dan is the nicest, most well-meaning and happy-go-lucky guy around 90% of the time, but he has this tendency to occasionally make bad decisions on a whim that hurt people and make him look like a selfish dickhead.
Anyway, I proceeded to have a drunken deep and meaningful with Dan's best friend Grant, and whiny phone calls with Jaydee and Lizzie. Anyway, after a bit of a confrontation with Dan outside the last pub, during which he reassured me he has eyes only for me tonight, and Britney unnecessarily telling him to 'take her home', we headed to meet some better friends (including the beautiful Grace) at a drum'n'bass concert in the city. The music was amazing and I felt endlessly more comfortable in my scene instead of his. The flips probably helped my self-confidence also. The night was amazing, my back cramped from dancing, and I felt a little in love holding hands on the walk home. We had a couple of billies and spooned in a friend's sisters bed for probably 2 hours before the alarm went off for work at 9am. I didn't make it to work however, and slept until 2pm.
Jaydee picked me up in my scattered state and I lay in her bed complaining and telling her all about my night for a couple of hours, until I headed to Cat's to pick her up for my sister's 21st. We hung there for a couple hours (nursing my hangover with vodka redbulls and laughing at my drunk mother and sister) until Dan picked me up en route to drop off flips that he was supplying for friends. On the way to drop Cat home he randomly declared "Hey, I tried to hook up with Holly last night! And by tried to, I mean I think I actually might have, I can't remember though!" ........What? Are you serious? She likes you! You think she is amazingly nice and cute! How am I supposed to not feel weird and threatened by this? How are you being so blasé about it? Why didn't you say anything at the time? How did you act so lovey all night at the dnb gig without any thought of that happening earlier? I can't believe I was paranoid about Britney when it was Holly who I should've been worrying about! I really don't understand this boy sometimes. We stayed at Steven's apartment, our regular haunt for smoking weed as he lives without parents - so jealous - but the futon was uncomfortable and I probably slept less than an hour.
Dan and I spent Sunday sitting around his house playing Playstation and uploading songs to his band's myspace. We had a family dinner with his parents and sister and then headed to Steven's again for some more billies. I wasn't keen on the uncomfortable couch for a second night, so we headed home and distractedly watched some OC (Season 1 of course). Sleeping in a familiar bed was amazing and awkwardness over the Holly situation was long-gone as we cuddled all night.
This morning I am finally at home with time to try and figure out how I feel about everything that happened this weekend. I'm not sure whether Dan is coming over for dinner with my mum tonight and I'm waiting for his call (and half-expecting a "Hey sorry, I'm going to go hang out with Holly tonight instead"). Anyway, my slightly unstable father has gone down the coast for a few days and my mother is heading up north with work tomorrow, so hopefully I can expect a few days of peace and quiet, study and possible nights in with Dan? I'm starting to feel a sore throat (unsurprising considering the level of viruses flying around the scene) and I don't want to end up as bad as Gray was last week, so next post may not be as excitement filled! I'll have to give you the verdict on Dan and whether he chooses to see me this week next time though.
Stay cheerful! xxx
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