A New Year's Eve to Remember

What a night, what a night.

Well actually, it began at 1pm at Cat's boyfriend's house with them and Jaydee. No matter what people tell you, vodka and spas DO mix.

But the NIGHT. The night was eventful.

Clara oh so kindly decided not to drink and instead to ferry us around in her parents' car all night. For this kind service, I compensated her with a dexy. The crew consisted of her, Sam, Charlie, another regular, Katie-Grey (yes, we have very similar names in real life too) and myself. We all met at Castle to have a few drinks before hitting a themed party (CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE). Of course, none of us dressed up. I have found over the years that Castle are not really theme kind of people. Unless of course they choose the theme and/or it's Halloween. Anything to do with fake blood and zombies gets them going.

The party, in Sam's words, was "bangin'". Clara, Katie-Grey and I had a bit of a dance to some nigga beatzzzz (yes, you do have to be ironic about it) on a makeshift dance-floor and had a bit of a chat to Dunk, who showed up with his girlfriend a bit later. Pity we didn't know too many other people! Sam did though, and when the rest of us went and sat out on the pavement in front of the house to drink and talk, he insisted that we stay for a while longer.

This is why we ended up having our countdown not at a party, but out front of a party. Quite nice really, especially considering that when Katie-Grey gets drunk, she gets mouthy, and I love it. "SKAAAAAAAAANKS" was yelled loudly at a few party-goers just before midnight.

This is the point at which she decides to inform me that she knows some very intimate details of my odd relationship with Sam. To put it frankly, she knows everything. Great.

Awwwwwwwwesome.

And she wont tell me anything!

Please note that all of us are well on our way to being shitfaced here, I had already drunk a quarter of a bottle of rum (gross). Katie-Grey disappeared off home with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Hopefully they're on again for good!
Then the rest of us piled into Clara's car in order to get to a warehouse party called Concreto. We decided that the warehouse/space used to be an concrete factory, hence the name. I kind of doubt it though, this was drunken logic.
The drive there was epic, considering it should have taken us 15 minutes, but instead lasted for half an hour (at least). We were all drinking in the car (illegal) and Sam was trying to navigate from his iPhone, which I decided was ridiculous, so I co-opted the road map. What resulted was a very drunken Charlie and I trying to navigate from the backseat, yelling about freeways being in the wrong place and THOSE DARN ONE WAY ROADS.
During an attempted u-turn (very illegal) we managed to find a cop car. Greeeeeaaaaat. Thank god Clara hadn't been drinking. Well, I freaked out because she'd had a quarter of one of my rum & cokes about 2 hours earlier, but HEY I was illegally taking shots out of a bottle in the back of a car on new years with drugs in my bag. I think it's kind of fair enough that I was a bit worried.
Thankfully, Clara blew under the limit on the breath test and we finally made it to the party.

Concreto was as you'd expect, big, loud, amazingly lit, with good music and plenty of great people. Immediately upon entering, Sam sidled up to a beautiful girl and started dancing with her. While I am getting over this I'm still not ready to watch this, especially when I'm drunk. I try to ignore it. I talk to Clara and Charlie and some of our other friends. And then some guy drops a glowstick (why were there glowsticks? was this a rave?) at my feet and I start flirting outrageously with him. We dance. He takes me by the waist and kisses me. He takes my hand and leads me out into the party, away from Sam and his doomed attempts to bag this far too good looking girl. This party has suddenly gotten a hell of a lot better.
Turns out this guy's name is Tom and we were in the same political theory unit last semester. Turns out he's very cute. Turns out we have a lot to talk about. This is good.
At around 4am I got too cold to function properly (yeah it was probably mid-20s, but the summer has made me weak), and told Tom that I had to leave. He tried to get me to stay a little longer, let him walk me home, but I declined. No more of this "sure I'll go home with you" bunk. I'm over it. He got my number and I stumbled drunkenly out the door.

In the car, Sam was disgruntled, having failed at bagging the girl, and in my state I thought maybe also because I succeeded while he didn't. Who knows if that's true, or if he sincerely doesn't care what I do and never really did. Clara invited us all back to her empty house, but Sam declined the offer, citing "why would I go to someone else's house when mine's right here?" as a reason. Angryyyyyy Sam. Charlie decided to stay on for the journey and the three of us ended up chatting and drinking until 7am, while the sun slowly rose in the background. Looking back on this, I recognise how ridiculous it was that I was still taking shots out of a rum bottle in Clara's kitchen in the middle of the morning.

When I woke up that afternoon I was still very drunk. What a great New Years.

New Woman, Old Woman

I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling like everything was a little bit freer and easier than it had been on Tuesday night. Thinking about this Sam thing made me want to shrug my shoulders and say, "Eh, no big deal. Neither of us are really interested in each other. Whatever." for the first time in a long time.
I spent the day strutting my stuff from one side of the city to another (I think I walked for about 3 hours!) in an outfit that made me feel like a million bucks, listening to trashy music that made me feel sexy. There's nothing a good strut in public can't fix, especially when it draws appreciative looks!
I felt like a new woman, with a new, more positive outlook on life and just a touch more self-worth.

Mmm, pity I fucked it up that night.

I got a message at 7:30 from Sam asking me to go out with him and a friend of ours who is visiting for a few weeks. However, due to various family committments, I couldn't go until 11 or 12. Unfortunately, by the time I was free, he wasn't answering his phone. Drunk, I assumed.
This resulted in the drunken hour during which I told my father about Alexis/Animal Collective Thursday. He is probably the greatest parent anyone could ask for. Not only was he completely supportive of my drug taking, he gave me tips for the next time I took it and told me that there's no point if I didn't take 2 tabs. Legend.

At past 12 I finally get a reply from Sam. Sorry, we've all bailed home. How was your night?
I replied by saying my night was awesome, and questioned whether he was going to bed. Purely because I thought they might still be sitting around out the back of Castle and that I might join.
No, he wasn't going to bed, but no one was around. I could come and watch the OC with him if I wanted. Drunk, and very much awake, I decided that this was a good choice.
Well, I mean, it wasn't a bad choice.
It just meant we slept together again and I completely lost the progress I had made that day. And, waking up in his bed the next morning, I felt like he cared about me less than ever before. Here's where I need to be too.