I've been laid up with this goddamned infection since Sunday (yes, it's Thursday today) and it's starting to drive me a bit batty.
Ok, ok. It's probably only starting to drive me crazy because of the really, really weird and intense conversation I had on fb chat on Tuesday with McFly. I'll keep this fairly short, because if I don't limit myself I will actually keep ranting for pages and pages and pages (and that should be what weekend recounts are for, not obsessive speculations about "friends").
So, we were having a fairly normal discussion about how bad my tv watching tastes are (I don't see what the problem is with watching Queer As Folk, True Blood and Secret Diary of a Call Girl for a little escapism, but McFly seems to take issue with it). Then somehow we got onto how I like to avoid conflict, and he just drops this bomb:
"You know, if you were a little more like me & a little less passive, I think I'd fall in love with you."
YOU WHAT?????????
Needless to say, this was a little much for my poor, ill body to take. As I made fairly clear to him, that is not an alright thing to say to someone who has been battling their crush on you for a year and a half (ie. the entire time they've known you). I had forgotten, of course, that McFly is pretty much the least empathetic person of all time, and therefore needs to actually be TOLD if a girl is into him. Idiot. As a result, I pretty much unintentionally came out of the closet to him about my repressed love for him (thankfully not in so many words) and he kind of ..... encouraged it. None of this, "Gray, you know I really love you as a friend, but I just don't feel that way about you" stuff. OH NO. Just kind of like, "You should tell me things more often. Certain things." And, "You should have stayed with me on Friday night, shame you didn't."
Maaaaaake up your miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiindddddddddddddddd!!
I say this because he's "sorta", "kinda", "hanging out with" this girl he met at Slew the other week. So I really just want to say to him, "Please can we just be friends so I can recommence my mission to get over you or can you categorically tell me that you want to be more than friends?"
But I'll never do that - guess why? BECAUSE I'M TOO PASSIVE.
Oh, lol.
So to conclude, I reallyreallyreally want to go to uni today because he suggested I "come and keep him company and then we can go to get some grub" (note: food never happens when this invitation is issued, he always has to go home or something, this is definitely not a date invitation, but it's still a hangout invite!). This hangout could lead to some resolution/clarification of what is going on post-Tuesday. But I can't go. Because I still can't walk around for more than 5 minutes without needing to sit down again. Fuck life.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I'm overthinking this to the point of insanityyyyyyy.
In Other News
Blondie J has been holed up in her studycave since the inception of this blog, but promises NAY, PINKY SWEARS, that she will be posting her story of last weekend (including Sleepless in Seattle watching) as soon as her exam is over.
She's learning to be a doctor so when it comes to crunch time she actually has to ... crunch? Doesn't help that she spends far too few of her days at university/hitting the books during semester ;)
Talk soon kids xxxxxxxx
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