how to fight loneliness:
smile all the time
shine your teeth to meaningless,
and sharpen them with lies

(wilco - girl interrupted soundtrack)

i feel like i miss being the 16 year old who used to watch ultra sad/awful/drugfucked movies at home alone and listen to sad music and hate makeup except eyeliner and bite her nails and get drunk in parks with boys and cry

but why?

now i am a 19 year old who doesnt have much time to watch movies alone at all, listens to happy/dancey music and gets drunk at clubs with girls and dances and paints her nails many tropical shades and knows how to look pretty with makeup on

i dont knowwwwwwwww. attemps to relive old goodtimes after exams finished just reminded me of how much dan and i are different to those people now. especially to harold who deserves his khaki green lame colour for being such a dick head.

'ew, i don't want to sit near you anymore man, you've had your dick covered in shit'

can you please stop being 15 years old. there are lots of sexual and pharmaceutical experiences that everyone has the right to enjoy themselves. nobody should force their beliefs on anybody else. just live and let live!

on another note...
should i feel guilty about having the best 30 minutes of my night on wednesday (at the end of year show for meds) when past flame-from-afar, best looking boy in second year, cam, was talking to me and (possibly pretending to be) interested in my tastes in music/life?
♥

but i went and met dan at the pub later right? its okay? harmless and all.

let's undress like cross eyed strangers