Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Man of Few Words

Apparently Tallulah Bankhead once said that only good girls keep diaries because bad girls don't have the time.

This I came upon while reading Belle de Jour online. Very fitting, considering I have been so bad at updating All Our Weekends recently.
Sorry about that.
Right now, I don't have the time to update you on everything that's been happening just yet. What I do have the time to do however, is let you in on a little secret.
I've started writing again. Not blogging, but writing. It used to be a real passion of mine to the point that when I left highschool all I could really see myself doing was working a shit job to pay the bills so I could write and write and write. Uni life and post-18 life had taken the time and drive to write away from me, until now. I am freshly inspired by a new person in my life who has reminded me that I have at least a modicum of talent in a few areas that I have been neglecting. So, I give you a little character study I whipped up the other day. Those of you who know me well: Try and guess who it's about! Easy as.

A Man of Few Words
He rode up to the bar on his chestnut horse, his destination on the other side of the sunset. His porkpie hat was tilted slightly to the back, as was the fashion in those days. His blue and green tartan shirt flapped briskly around his skinny legs, encased in thick black denim and capped off with his pointy leather brogues, the spurs at the ankle looking almost like an afterthought. What a sight for sore eyes he was. As he dismounted, I noticed again that familiar slouch and his never-ending blue eyed stare. Nothing really changes, does it? He walked over to me, chewing on his tobacco.

“How have you been?” he questioned.

“I’ve been alright kid. It’s been a cold, dry winter, but we’ll pull through. How are you? It’s been too long.”

“Oh I’m well enough. It has been a long time.”

“So ... what have you been doing with yourself, riding that horse all across the countryside I’ll wager?”

“Oh sure, I’ve been around. Just riding, you know.”

And then it seemed something caught his eye and his stare was drawn off into the distance once more, leaving me alone again with the sound of his chewing tobacco smacking between his teeth.
He sure was a man of few words.

“Would you like to join me inside for a drink? It looks as if you could do with some refreshment. And that horse too, we’ll get him unsaddled and fed and watered.”

“Sounds good, thankyou.”

He followed me in through the swinging doors, his footsteps not as heavy on the wooden boards as you’d expect. Those spurs couldn’t weigh enough to be real. I chose us a table up against one of the walls and let him sit so his back wasn’t to the door. I know how much it means to him to know what’s creeping up behind him. We sat and he picked up the drinks menu, eyeing it suspiciously.

“What’s with all of these new-fangled bloody champagne cocktails and squashed frog shots? All I want is a beer.”

“Well, we’ll just share a jug shall we?”

“Sure. The cheapest one is fine.”

Nothing really changes.

“Are you hungry after your ride? You must be. Their pizza’s pretty good but if you’re only a little peckish I think they do a good tasting plate here.”

“Pizza’s good. I’ll just have a Hawaiian.”

I went up to the counter to order. “Can I get a jug of VB, a Hawaiian pizza and a ceasar salad thanks.”

“Watching the waistline eh girly? I've never known you to order a salad” The barman remarked.

“Oh no, I’m just getting bored of curry and lasagne every night. I’ll be chipping in for your microwaved chocolate cake come dessert-time though, don’t you worry Johnny.”

“Good, good. You had me a bit worried there. I wouldn’t want you ending up looking like one of those starved Hollywood gals,” he said as he gave my ample bosom a good once over.

“No danger of that, trust me. Your low-carb beer is too expensive for that to be a worry.” We both laughed.

“Don’t work too hard now Johnny!” I called back as I made my way to the table, a jug and two glasses in my hands.

It was clear from his body posture that my guest was caught in another of his reveries.

“Got something weighing on your mind?” I asked as I poured the amber liquid out equally, making sure there was just the right amount of head, exactly as he liked it.

“Oh no, not really. I’m just real tired. This travelling business takes it out of ya. All I do is ride and only pause for a short time when I come upon someplace accomodating - thanks.” He said as he took up his glass, clearly relieved to have something to do with his hands.

“And I’m sure they’re very accommodating around these parts to a pretty thing like you, kid!” I took a sip of my beer and cringed inwardly for a moment. I’d forgotten how much this stuff resembled pigswill.

“They’re accommodating enough.” He paused, looking down into his drink. “So are you still going ‘round with that Matty Wallace character?”

“Oh Matty? Good gracious, no. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen his old face. We parted on good terms, he’s moved over Mile End way nowadays, working in one of them factories. We were never much good for each other anyway.”

“Well I’m glad you ain’t sore about it. I’m glad to have found you just as I remembered.”

“Nothing much has changed?”

“Nothing’s changed for the worse, that’s for sure.”

We sat mostly in silence over dinner. I had forgotten how much he looked like a caged animal during these kind of meetings; fearful of those around him and uncomfortable as all hell. Happier on his horse, I guess. As the meal progressed we downed beer after beer, and when I could manage to think of something new to ask him his replies lengthened a little. When we’d both finished, I asked, “Would you like to come up and have a nightcap? My room’s plenty big for entertaining.”

“I was hoping you’d ask,” he replied. He took my hand to lead me up the stairs.

How had it gotten to be me asking him up for a nightcap? Time was he’d be practically dragging me away from the Spring Ball while I complained about not wanting to miss the final dance. Maybe things have changed, a little.

“There’s not too much space up here, I’ll have to sit on the bed, why don’t you take the chair?” I said as I poured each of us a nip of whiskey.

“Don’t mind if I do.” He paused, looking out the window to the darkness outside, the trees in the distance being lit up periodically by each flash of lightning.

“Not too long till the rain’ll start up over our heads.” He said matter-of-factly.

“That’s for certain.” I agreed.

He threw back his drink in one gulp and paced the two steps between the chair and the bed to take a seat next to me.

“You sure haven’t changed for the worse.” He put his hand on my knee and lent in, his lips grazing my cheek. “You’re just as you were back in those old Spring Ball days.” He took my face in his hands and kissed my lips, pressing up against me as if his life depended on it. Mustn’t have been with a woman in a long time, I guess. I reciprocated, pressing into him just the same, giving him the fight he craved. He pushed me back onto the bed and I sprawled out willingly. I expected him to grab my wrists and force my hands above my head like all the others, but no, nothing had changed. He wasn’t like those old rough and tumble ranch hands. Really, underneath this desperate exterior, he was just as scared as he always was. He’ll never be much more than a little boy to me. As he moved gently back and forth on top of me and the rain pounded the tin roof I almost wanted to cry. This was him at his most vulnerable, no spurs, no horse, no porkpie hat; just that blue-eyed stare. It was over as soon as I’d remembered.

Nothing much has changed.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

rain rain go away!

Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, yo.

How's everything? Holidays from uni? Still working? Surfing the internet with a cup of tea in your pyjamas?

Well as for Blondie J, she's probably on top of the world. After exams finished I had an amazing weekend! Extremely drunk with Jaydee and co on Thursday night, where the main outing was to a kebab shop for greasy goodness, drunk again with Jaydee Gray Holly and Dan at Slew to farewell Gray on Friday, and a quiet party and night in with Dan on Saturday. I didn't take any flips all weekend either which made me proud! Free/cheap drinks helped and so did my general happiness ♥

The best parts of the weekend were the chats with Jaydee and the part where Dan and I made "us" an official relationship (who cares if it was a drunken dancefloor decision, right? It still counts!).

The worst parts were probably work at 9 on both Friday and Saturday mornings, and having to get off the warm couch to pick up Dan's friend from Geometry on Saturday night. How good can a weekend get though? I'm not complaining. And I got to borrow sexy clothes each night and feel amazing!

Anyway, the party didn't stop as I left for a little island off the coast for four days on Monday. Now, I will admit that I was nervous. Dan and I were three days into being official and there were going to be a lot of bangin' women on this island. Would he change his mind as soon as he got there, or would he come hang out with me and generally be my boyfriend?


















Turned out it was the latter. My paranoia was unfounded yet again. I can't remember how many people (including good-looking girls) I was introduced to as "my girlfriend Blondie J". It was a wicked four days and I have to say my body is a little battered from vodka, big blunts, one Pink Playboy, nights sleeping on a blanket on the floor and trecking around a car-free island in the pouring rain. Tomorrow I have a placement at the GP all day? Nervous would be an understatement. Tasks I am expected to perform in ascending order of scariness:


1. Take histories
2. Examine cardiovascular, gastrointestinal and respiratory systems.
3. Watch a pap smear / digital rectal examination
4. Give an immunisations
5. Remove sutures
6. Perform a groin/inguinal hernia/digital rectal examination !!!!!!!!!!

I am going to distract myself from this crazy idea. As if I can do any of the last three things there. Let's just pretend I won't ever have to, okay?

Also here's an amazing tip that you should implement TONIGHT. Go and buy some sherbert cruisers. Drink them through straws (be friendly to those teeth!). They are the tastiest drinks in the world and a four year old would probably never notice the alcohol in them.

Alright well bed calls. I've been reading that book about Chris O'Brien, the Aussie surgeon who died of brain cancer. It's a beautiful book I think you should all read it!

Love love love xxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, June 20, 2009

It's All About the Sexy Undies

A retropost circa 20th of June

Last night was another of those nights you wish you could tell your kids about, but know that they would say "Ewww mum, you're not allowed to have done things like that!".


It was my last night out in this fine city for a month, because tonight I am leaving for London! I'm so excited, it's not even funny. I plan to hit the shops/pubs/clubs/cultural attractions hard.

Anyway, considering it was my last night I wanted to go out with a BANG. I had predrinks at my house (so convenientlty located in the inner city), to which I invited my fave gay boy Julian, a new boy he may or may not be fooling around with, Harry; Blondie J, Jaydee, Bella and a couple of other friends. Naturally, I got silly on red wine (French for $10, ridiculous!) and attempted to apply lipstick in said state as per usual, which is always a fine line between alright & a horrible choice. We all sat around shooting the shit until my dad arrived home from a drinks night, after which we shot the shit with him while he drank vodka & tonics to a soundtrack of Led Zepplin. Such good times.

At around 9.30 we left mine to go to this house party in the next street (Castle, my street and this one, Riverrun, are all parallel one after another). It was the usual scene, indie kids sitting around in unfunctionally small hats, drinking red or cheap spirits, butting out cigarettes in old jars, talking about learning Spanish or some art show and dancing to artful noise. It ended up being just Bella and I, with everyone else peeling off to other destinations and promising to meet me out at Slew after midnight. Now, the interesting part comes when some of the Castle kids turned up (surprising, right?). My three favourites, McFly, Charlie and Sam waltzing through the door sometime around 10:30 immediately made my night.
I've gotta tell you kids, this bit is all a little blurry. I was pretty drunk.
Somehow McFly, Bella and I ended up in one of the housemate's bedrooms in order to rail a ritalin I'd been carrying around since Nokle gave it to me before exams. This was a bit of a bad choice, especially considering the lessons I have already learnt about cold/wet/substances/lack of sleep/bad food combos. But what really put the icing on the cake for my poor brain was the hit of green McFly offered me. It sent me into a sick, messy downward spiral for the next half an hour, during which some major developments occurred.

First of all, I hooked up with Bella on this guy's bed while McFly chose songs on his computer - why the hell wasn't he trying to get in on that action, you may ask? Good question! I really, really don't know, considering he drops threesome innuendos like working girls drop their underwear: As a matter of course.

Next, Sam entered the room and, seeing me in such a state, immediately asked "Are you alright?". I replied "No, no I'm not", and proceeded to grasp his hand for dear life. The pressure I had to exert was the only thing keeping me conscious.
Lovely Gray, real classy.
He then suggested that we go for a walk. I, badly needing some movement and fresh air, readily agreed. In retrospect, this move was a bit of a cunning plan on Sam's part. We hadn't gotten more than 4 houses up the street before we were making out like there was no tomorrow against some poor neighbour's front wall. YES IT FINALLY HAPPENED. And yes, he's a pretty good kisser (for a boy, girls are in a league of their own).

Skip forward twenty minutes of rain-soaked outdoor makeout & groping, and you will see us return to the party and collect McFly and Charlie for the walk to Slew. The club was just as it always is, full of friends and good music. One noteable appearance was that of Sam's recent ex, Joanie. She was lovely to me as always, but keep in mind that she didn't know I'd been kissing her ex all night! He and I had a bit of a dancefloormakeout, a phenomenon that is quite unusual at Slew, most of the patrons feeling they're above that kind of behaviour, which is more suited to the lower echelons over at Washington. McFly went back to Castle pretty early, leaving Sam, Charlie and I hanging out. We all ended up walking home together, with Charlie bowing out upon our arrival at his car. He hates to sleep on the floor at Castle so he always drives, no matter his state or the early hour.

So then there were two.

Sam walked me to my house and upon the prospect of saying good night both of us lent in for a long, sex-filled kiss. "Come back to my house." It was more of a statement than a question when he said it. "I can't, I have to get up early tomorrow and pack ..." My refusal was stifled by another kiss, at the end of which he offered again. This time I couldn't help but agree. I had worn my best new sexy undies, after all.
And the rest is history.
We spent the night together and it wasn't amazing, but it was fun! It had been so so SO long since my last time. I'm really not too sure how I feel about it though, because I don't think I like him enough to date him and I don't know what he wants from me. I guess I'll just have to roll with it; wait and see.
The last interesting point happened the morning after. Sam got up to get a glass of water and returned to his room holding up a denim jacket. Except this wasn't a normal denim jacket. It was cut up and torn and ruined. All he said was, "Apparently Joanie was staying in the living room last night."
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
You see, Sam lives with Alexa, one of Joanie's best friends. She must have decided to stay with Alexa instead of going home. So she must have heard Sam bring someone (probably obviously me) home. And apparently she decided that the best thing to do would be to cut the fuck out of his favourite jacket. She's totally stable. Yeah!
Thank GOD I'm leaving tonight. I can be away for a whole month and let those two craaaaaaaazy kids sort their shit out, without dragging me into their messy post-breakup relationship.
However; Still. Not. Happy.

On the plus side, this afternoon I had two of my favourite people come and visit me while I packed, Jaydee and McFly. As soon as he left my house McFly sent me a message saying "Miss you already". Sometimes I really, really love that boy. I'm going to miss him.

Anyway, wish me luck in Europe! I'll be back soon xx

Thursday, June 18, 2009

If Procrastination Were an Olympic Sport, I Wouldn't Beat Blondie J, but I'd Come Pretty Close

A few quick things I wanted to discuss before I do some proper weekend posting:

  1. Never study Advaita Vedantan metaphysics, they will drive you CRAZY (I have 2 exams left now qiuhasdkgfna).

  2. I have recently become addicted to brewing tea in a teapot, with real tea leaves. I always used to drink tea from teabags, but for exams I wanted some kind of tea that I could drink cups & cups of without stuffing myself full of milk and sugar. So I turned to Oolong. Probably the best descision of my life.
    It's full of antioxidants and certain girly magazines I like laughing at with Blondie claim that it "increases your metabolism by 7% for an hour after you drink it". Who do you reckon funded that little objective gem? Regardless of the truth of the metabolism claim, it gets me all hopped up on caffeine & I usually spend the next half hour all jittery and spouting such pearls of wisdom as "I NEED TO GET THESE NOTES WRITTEN BY 11 OR I WILL DEFINITELY FAIL MY EXAM AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT", (yes, I am a lightweight when it comes to caffeine, I never drink coffee).
    Here is Gray's method of brewing exam-worthy oolong:
    a) Buy extremely cheap tea leaves from local Asian deli
    b) Put 2 teaspoons of tea into a 3-cup pot
    c) Put 3 cups worth of boiling water into said pot
    d) Brew for a good 10 minutes
    e) Have one cup after another over the course of an hour, probably having to heat the 3rd one in the microwave
    f) Repeat the process with the same tea leaves at least 3 times (the brewing gets better!)
    Note: I am a fan of strong tea, but it probably wont make you act like you've drunk 4 cans of red bull, unlike me, so don't worry about adjusting the recipe or anything.

  3. Do you think that we're going to see a lot more haircuts like La Roux now that they're getting pretty famous? I'm totally holding out for it. I predict that in a month Slew will be full of them. I am a teeny tiny bit in love with her, their music is a bit poppier than I usually like, but it's just SO goddamn catchy. I have Blondie to thank for introducing me to their song Bulletproof and getting me hooked, although I already knew half the words to In For the Kill thanks to hearing it in the background of my day on Triple J about a million times.
  4. A little bit of advice for you all, never start a blog right before exams because you will either a) Spend all of your time writing posts but not publishing them because you only ever get halfway through writing them before you feel too guilty about not studying; or b) Not write any posts at all because you are so dedicated to study and then feel guilty about not living up to your blogging duties. Or really, you could be a normal person and not even think about it, but HEY who's normal here?
  5. Never leave any important notes on tabletops if you have cats. They will sit on them and crumple them. This happened to me every year in highschool, causing me to front up to maths exams with a paw print-covered sheet of formulas, and I still haven't learnt. Yes, my cat is currently sitting on top of some notes in front of my laptop.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Studystudystudy

Hey hey (it's Thursday),

Guess what?! One more exam to go - tomorrow morning - clinical practice - and then I'm freeeee! ♥ I'm so excited. Straight after my exam (well technically after work, which is actually straight after my exam), I am slurping up some sherbert cruisers (apparently they exist now!) and getting silly. :)

So what do I have to share about the past couple weeks (and weekends)? Not much! I never thought I would become one of those couples who sees each other every day and does nothing but it seems I have underestimated my capacity to be boring. Spooning has never been so satisfying - especially now it's winter and bed is so warm and inviting!

Nah, I've done a bit. Last Friday, as Gray mentioned, I watched some jear-terking Notebook with Jaydee and Cat. I just realised I wrote jear-terking? Cool word Blondie. It was amazing to cuddle with them and blankets and be stupidly girly and lame, but there was a disappointing lack of chocolate in the room!

Anyway, the next night, Dan and I first visited his new (!!!) house. Tiny room, but awesome location (not to mention lack of hawk-eye parents). We got messy - okay, I got messy - and went to a 21st with Grace and Lizzie and their man-friends. I can't remember a lot of this night but I was pretty drunk and belted so I had a rockin' time. We walked home (terrible decision!) in the freezing cold. I studied at uni the next day and then had dinner with his mum, sister, housemates and their families at a restaurant near the new house. Cue me feeling like part of the family and loving it!

Week 1 of exams was spent studying at uni and crashing at Dan's (and resenting sleeping on a camping single mattress with him on the floor). There was one night where I smoked a couple cones and did a couple of nangs (poppers?) with all those boys which was a fun new thing to try. It felt so amazing but I don't like how the feeling left so quickly. Last weekend was a bit of a non-event as I was in the middle of exams. I did enjoy one sober night at Gray's least-favourite adjoining club, Washington, becuase I drove Dan and his housemates in. I drank 4 Red Bulls and was fairly surprised at how much I charged. I realised after 2 that I'd never had a whole can of Red Bull sans vodka or already being chopped, so it was another new pharmaceutical experience I guess! I then became a little too into the charging focussed feeling and drank a couple too many when studying on Sunday night - left me feeling really strange and quivery on Monday morning. Sometimes in the med lab at uni I see students with six empty cans of Red Bull next to them - I wonder if they are aware of what it could be doing to their hearts (and psychological well-being!).

Anyway the exams will finish tomorrow and hopefully I'll have an amazing weekend full of lessons in getting chopped. I'll have to catch you next time with them! xxxxxxx

Friday, June 12, 2009

Jealousy (feat. Desire)

I fucking love this, McFly is jealous of me and Sam. Not that Sam & I are even a thing yet, it's just clear that he likes me and that I'm not impartial to him. But goshdarnit, McFly is definitely jealous (in his own twisted way).
I get the following message from him after enquiring whether or not he was studying at uni:

"I just woke up, might pass on that one. When can we meet up? / When are you MEETING with Sam? lol"

The fact that he is asking to "meet up" with me for no particular reason (he never ever does that, he's more of a take than a give kind of a guy when it comes to appointment scheduling) means that he wants me to sleep with/love him.
Crystal clear.
Asking when I'm meeting Sam just clarifies this point further, McFly wants to have me before I'm no longer attainable.

I love life.

Ps. I'll post about last Saturday soon!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Feast & Famine

Friday

This was the first Friday since the beginning of the year that I have not been out on the town. And probably the 3rd Friday since I came of age that I haven't been to Slew.
Yes, I realise that I am becoming a scene queen, SHHH.
Instead, I decided that I should stay at home and study for my exams on Monday and Tuesday (now well & truly done, thank goodness). Good on them, my parents chose this of all nights to go out to a part & leave me at home alone. A perfect predrinks opportunity, I think so! But no taking advantage of it for me.
I quite badly wanted some visitors though, just for an hour or two, so I asked Blondie J what she was doing. Sadly, she was having Jaydee and Cat over to her place for chocolate eating & The Notebook watching. I decided that I couldn't take that much time out of my study schedule, things needed to be done.

It was probably a good thing that I stayed home, because come 6pm there was a knock on my door. For a second I thought it was going to be Zara and James as they'd said they might drop by on their way elsewhere, but when I opened up, who was standing there but McFly.
Turns out he wanted to borrow my psych textbook (we're doing the same unit) to study for the exam. In typical McFly fashion he never bought the book for himself. How can someone with such loaded parents be so cheap? I often ponder this.
So I agreed to lend it to him for tonight if he brought it back tomorrow.

But that wasn't all he had come for.

It turns out that last Friday had gotten McFly into some serious hot water. Marta, feeling a little raw after finding out that McFly had no intentions of ever dating her, had told a friend of hers about what had happened. She included such details as "two girls in one bed" and "McFly is seeing some girl and/or multiple girls". This friend had probably told another friend who told another friend who told a girl who is a notorious gossip. This girl in turn told a close friend of ANOTHER girl who McFly has been seeing on and off for about a year and a half now, Hana.
Bad choice.
This girl Hana is a little bit in love with McFly and despite having known him for the same amount of time as I have, does not seem to have grasped the fact that he is incapable of commitment and will never love her back. I really do feel sorry for her. True, McFly should have stopped leading her on months ago, but he seems to have continued seeing her not only for selfish reasons, but also because she wont let him go. Which kind of stops me feeling sorry for her and makes me think she's a bit of an idiot.
Long story short, upon hearing about McFly's exploits (mercifully sans my name), Hana called him and demanded an explanation. Somehow this conversation ended with him agreeing to officially date her.
WHAT THE FUCK MCFLY?!??!!
He doesn't even like her. He just feels like he "owes it to her" because he's "fucked her around so much". I tried to explain to him that it isn't going to make her feel any better if he's just dating her out of obligation and/or pity, but he "doesn't want to hurt her any more than he already has".
Suck it up McFly, if you don't want her, break it off.
This is what I told him anyway, but he just wont take my advice.
So we spent a good two hours discussing this situation and whether or not it was my fault because I'd told Marta about the other girls in the first place. I maintain that he made his bed when he decided to date multiple girls without making it clear to them that he was just hanging out with them, nothing serious; and now he has to lie in it.
Do you agree?

Oh, and to top it all of, we have this exchange:
M: "Oh, Gray, if only you would like me, then everything would be fine."
G: "But I do like you? You know that."
M: *Shrugs* "Not enough to pursue me."
G: "I didn't think you'd want me to pursue."
M: "Tell you what, if you get me out of this mess, I'll date you. Either now or sometime in the future."
G: "Are you serious?????"
M: "Sure I am."
G: "But I wouldn't want you to date me just because you felt obliged to. That's no fun."
M: "Ok. Whatever. Suit yourself."

Truly McFly, I don't get you. You so often talk about how good we would be together, but then spend the other half of the time pointing out why we wouldn't work out. And surely if you wanted me you would have me already.

Actually, no, I do get you. You want me to keep on digging you so you feel special and you want my emotional support. That's ok, you've got the support regardless. Let's just be best friends? Oh who am I kidding, I'll probably always have a niggling little yen for you, even though you are a complete bastard.
But fuck it, it certainly makes life more interesting.