So it's been a long time since I last wrote, and as you might guess, a lot has happened.
I'd like to tell the story of a girl named Zoe in order and in full, as it's been a pretty important part of my last month. Again, as you might imagine, she's driven me a little crazy and, as per usual, it makes for an interesting story for all of you, but not a very satisfying one for me. Perhaps I'm destined to keep having doomed flings to keep you all in interesting reading material! I'll endeavour to tell the whole story over the next week or so.
For the moment, I'd like to share a few things that I have learnt recently:
1) Relying on others to make us happy will never, ever work. The only way to be truly happy is to be content in yourself; other people can only ever play a supporting role.
2) Reading about Buddhism is the only thing that can really calm me down as it teaches one to abandon all desire and value what one already has. Try it out sometime, I highly recommend it.
3) Big changes help to kill off boredom, but first you have to find something worth changing. (I'm thinking about moving out/going on exchange/taking a semester off uni.)
4) Acid is the best drug in the world, as long as you can learn not to drown in it. And especially if you listen to Philip Glass while on it, he makes the world impossibly beautiful:
5) Soy hot chocolates are infinitely better than ones with normal milk. There's just no contest! Especially when they are served to you by cute ex-flings with piercing blue eyes who still flirt with you ;)
6) Playing music (my personal favourite at the moment being Jolene) and writing are incredibly cathartic things, but if you get lost in a haze of late nights, drinking/drugs, hangovers, listless television watching and general inertia, that's an easy fact to forget. I should leave notes lying around to remind myself of theses things.
7) If you develop a habit of crying in public, DO NOT wear mascara.
8) Stop crying in public, it's tragic. Read some Buddhism instead.
Stay tuned lovers x
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
A New Year's Eve to Remember
What a night, what a night.
Well actually, it began at 1pm at Cat's boyfriend's house with them and Jaydee. No matter what people tell you, vodka and spas DO mix.
But the NIGHT. The night was eventful.
Clara oh so kindly decided not to drink and instead to ferry us around in her parents' car all night. For this kind service, I compensated her with a dexy. The crew consisted of her, Sam, Charlie, another regular, Katie-Grey (yes, we have very similar names in real life too) and myself. We all met at Castle to have a few drinks before hitting a themed party (CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE). Of course, none of us dressed up. I have found over the years that Castle are not really theme kind of people. Unless of course they choose the theme and/or it's Halloween. Anything to do with fake blood and zombies gets them going.
The party, in Sam's words, was "bangin'". Clara, Katie-Grey and I had a bit of a dance to some nigga beatzzzz (yes, you do have to be ironic about it) on a makeshift dance-floor and had a bit of a chat to Dunk, who showed up with his girlfriend a bit later. Pity we didn't know too many other people! Sam did though, and when the rest of us went and sat out on the pavement in front of the house to drink and talk, he insisted that we stay for a while longer.
This is why we ended up having our countdown not at a party, but out front of a party. Quite nice really, especially considering that when Katie-Grey gets drunk, she gets mouthy, and I love it. "SKAAAAAAAAANKS" was yelled loudly at a few party-goers just before midnight.
This is the point at which she decides to inform me that she knows some very intimate details of my odd relationship with Sam. To put it frankly, she knows everything. Great.
Awwwwwwwwesome.
And she wont tell me anything!
Please note that all of us are well on our way to being shitfaced here, I had already drunk a quarter of a bottle of rum (gross). Katie-Grey disappeared off home with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Hopefully they're on again for good!
Then the rest of us piled into Clara's car in order to get to a warehouse party called Concreto. We decided that the warehouse/space used to be an concrete factory, hence the name. I kind of doubt it though, this was drunken logic.
The drive there was epic, considering it should have taken us 15 minutes, but instead lasted for half an hour (at least). We were all drinking in the car (illegal) and Sam was trying to navigate from his iPhone, which I decided was ridiculous, so I co-opted the road map. What resulted was a very drunken Charlie and I trying to navigate from the backseat, yelling about freeways being in the wrong place and THOSE DARN ONE WAY ROADS.
During an attempted u-turn (very illegal) we managed to find a cop car. Greeeeeaaaaat. Thank god Clara hadn't been drinking. Well, I freaked out because she'd had a quarter of one of my rum & cokes about 2 hours earlier, but HEY I was illegally taking shots out of a bottle in the back of a car on new years with drugs in my bag. I think it's kind of fair enough that I was a bit worried.
Thankfully, Clara blew under the limit on the breath test and we finally made it to the party.
Concreto was as you'd expect, big, loud, amazingly lit, with good music and plenty of great people. Immediately upon entering, Sam sidled up to a beautiful girl and started dancing with her. While I am getting over this I'm still not ready to watch this, especially when I'm drunk. I try to ignore it. I talk to Clara and Charlie and some of our other friends. And then some guy drops a glowstick (why were there glowsticks? was this a rave?) at my feet and I start flirting outrageously with him. We dance. He takes me by the waist and kisses me. He takes my hand and leads me out into the party, away from Sam and his doomed attempts to bag this far too good looking girl. This party has suddenly gotten a hell of a lot better.
Turns out this guy's name is Tom and we were in the same political theory unit last semester. Turns out he's very cute. Turns out we have a lot to talk about. This is good.
At around 4am I got too cold to function properly (yeah it was probably mid-20s, but the summer has made me weak), and told Tom that I had to leave. He tried to get me to stay a little longer, let him walk me home, but I declined. No more of this "sure I'll go home with you" bunk. I'm over it. He got my number and I stumbled drunkenly out the door.
In the car, Sam was disgruntled, having failed at bagging the girl, and in my state I thought maybe also because I succeeded while he didn't. Who knows if that's true, or if he sincerely doesn't care what I do and never really did. Clara invited us all back to her empty house, but Sam declined the offer, citing "why would I go to someone else's house when mine's right here?" as a reason. Angryyyyyy Sam. Charlie decided to stay on for the journey and the three of us ended up chatting and drinking until 7am, while the sun slowly rose in the background. Looking back on this, I recognise how ridiculous it was that I was still taking shots out of a rum bottle in Clara's kitchen in the middle of the morning.
When I woke up that afternoon I was still very drunk. What a great New Years.
Well actually, it began at 1pm at Cat's boyfriend's house with them and Jaydee. No matter what people tell you, vodka and spas DO mix.
But the NIGHT. The night was eventful.
Clara oh so kindly decided not to drink and instead to ferry us around in her parents' car all night. For this kind service, I compensated her with a dexy. The crew consisted of her, Sam, Charlie, another regular, Katie-Grey (yes, we have very similar names in real life too) and myself. We all met at Castle to have a few drinks before hitting a themed party (CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE). Of course, none of us dressed up. I have found over the years that Castle are not really theme kind of people. Unless of course they choose the theme and/or it's Halloween. Anything to do with fake blood and zombies gets them going.
The party, in Sam's words, was "bangin'". Clara, Katie-Grey and I had a bit of a dance to some nigga beatzzzz (yes, you do have to be ironic about it) on a makeshift dance-floor and had a bit of a chat to Dunk, who showed up with his girlfriend a bit later. Pity we didn't know too many other people! Sam did though, and when the rest of us went and sat out on the pavement in front of the house to drink and talk, he insisted that we stay for a while longer.
This is why we ended up having our countdown not at a party, but out front of a party. Quite nice really, especially considering that when Katie-Grey gets drunk, she gets mouthy, and I love it. "SKAAAAAAAAANKS" was yelled loudly at a few party-goers just before midnight.
This is the point at which she decides to inform me that she knows some very intimate details of my odd relationship with Sam. To put it frankly, she knows everything. Great.
Awwwwwwwwesome.
And she wont tell me anything!
Please note that all of us are well on our way to being shitfaced here, I had already drunk a quarter of a bottle of rum (gross). Katie-Grey disappeared off home with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Hopefully they're on again for good!
Then the rest of us piled into Clara's car in order to get to a warehouse party called Concreto. We decided that the warehouse/space used to be an concrete factory, hence the name. I kind of doubt it though, this was drunken logic.
The drive there was epic, considering it should have taken us 15 minutes, but instead lasted for half an hour (at least). We were all drinking in the car (illegal) and Sam was trying to navigate from his iPhone, which I decided was ridiculous, so I co-opted the road map. What resulted was a very drunken Charlie and I trying to navigate from the backseat, yelling about freeways being in the wrong place and THOSE DARN ONE WAY ROADS.
During an attempted u-turn (very illegal) we managed to find a cop car. Greeeeeaaaaat. Thank god Clara hadn't been drinking. Well, I freaked out because she'd had a quarter of one of my rum & cokes about 2 hours earlier, but HEY I was illegally taking shots out of a bottle in the back of a car on new years with drugs in my bag. I think it's kind of fair enough that I was a bit worried.
Thankfully, Clara blew under the limit on the breath test and we finally made it to the party.
Concreto was as you'd expect, big, loud, amazingly lit, with good music and plenty of great people. Immediately upon entering, Sam sidled up to a beautiful girl and started dancing with her. While I am getting over this I'm still not ready to watch this, especially when I'm drunk. I try to ignore it. I talk to Clara and Charlie and some of our other friends. And then some guy drops a glowstick (why were there glowsticks? was this a rave?) at my feet and I start flirting outrageously with him. We dance. He takes me by the waist and kisses me. He takes my hand and leads me out into the party, away from Sam and his doomed attempts to bag this far too good looking girl. This party has suddenly gotten a hell of a lot better.
Turns out this guy's name is Tom and we were in the same political theory unit last semester. Turns out he's very cute. Turns out we have a lot to talk about. This is good.
At around 4am I got too cold to function properly (yeah it was probably mid-20s, but the summer has made me weak), and told Tom that I had to leave. He tried to get me to stay a little longer, let him walk me home, but I declined. No more of this "sure I'll go home with you" bunk. I'm over it. He got my number and I stumbled drunkenly out the door.
In the car, Sam was disgruntled, having failed at bagging the girl, and in my state I thought maybe also because I succeeded while he didn't. Who knows if that's true, or if he sincerely doesn't care what I do and never really did. Clara invited us all back to her empty house, but Sam declined the offer, citing "why would I go to someone else's house when mine's right here?" as a reason. Angryyyyyy Sam. Charlie decided to stay on for the journey and the three of us ended up chatting and drinking until 7am, while the sun slowly rose in the background. Looking back on this, I recognise how ridiculous it was that I was still taking shots out of a rum bottle in Clara's kitchen in the middle of the morning.
When I woke up that afternoon I was still very drunk. What a great New Years.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Woman, Old Woman
I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling like everything was a little bit freer and easier than it had been on Tuesday night. Thinking about this Sam thing made me want to shrug my shoulders and say, "Eh, no big deal. Neither of us are really interested in each other. Whatever." for the first time in a long time.
I spent the day strutting my stuff from one side of the city to another (I think I walked for about 3 hours!) in an outfit that made me feel like a million bucks, listening to trashy music that made me feel sexy. There's nothing a good strut in public can't fix, especially when it draws appreciative looks!
I felt like a new woman, with a new, more positive outlook on life and just a touch more self-worth.
Mmm, pity I fucked it up that night.
I got a message at 7:30 from Sam asking me to go out with him and a friend of ours who is visiting for a few weeks. However, due to various family committments, I couldn't go until 11 or 12. Unfortunately, by the time I was free, he wasn't answering his phone. Drunk, I assumed.
This resulted in the drunken hour during which I told my father about Alexis/Animal Collective Thursday. He is probably the greatest parent anyone could ask for. Not only was he completely supportive of my drug taking, he gave me tips for the next time I took it and told me that there's no point if I didn't take 2 tabs. Legend.
At past 12 I finally get a reply from Sam. Sorry, we've all bailed home. How was your night?
I replied by saying my night was awesome, and questioned whether he was going to bed. Purely because I thought they might still be sitting around out the back of Castle and that I might join.
No, he wasn't going to bed, but no one was around. I could come and watch the OC with him if I wanted. Drunk, and very much awake, I decided that this was a good choice.
Well, I mean, it wasn't a bad choice.
It just meant we slept together again and I completely lost the progress I had made that day. And, waking up in his bed the next morning, I felt like he cared about me less than ever before. Here's where I need to be too.
I spent the day strutting my stuff from one side of the city to another (I think I walked for about 3 hours!) in an outfit that made me feel like a million bucks, listening to trashy music that made me feel sexy. There's nothing a good strut in public can't fix, especially when it draws appreciative looks!
I felt like a new woman, with a new, more positive outlook on life and just a touch more self-worth.
Mmm, pity I fucked it up that night.
I got a message at 7:30 from Sam asking me to go out with him and a friend of ours who is visiting for a few weeks. However, due to various family committments, I couldn't go until 11 or 12. Unfortunately, by the time I was free, he wasn't answering his phone. Drunk, I assumed.
This resulted in the drunken hour during which I told my father about Alexis/Animal Collective Thursday. He is probably the greatest parent anyone could ask for. Not only was he completely supportive of my drug taking, he gave me tips for the next time I took it and told me that there's no point if I didn't take 2 tabs. Legend.
At past 12 I finally get a reply from Sam. Sorry, we've all bailed home. How was your night?
I replied by saying my night was awesome, and questioned whether he was going to bed. Purely because I thought they might still be sitting around out the back of Castle and that I might join.
No, he wasn't going to bed, but no one was around. I could come and watch the OC with him if I wanted. Drunk, and very much awake, I decided that this was a good choice.
Well, I mean, it wasn't a bad choice.
It just meant we slept together again and I completely lost the progress I had made that day. And, waking up in his bed the next morning, I felt like he cared about me less than ever before. Here's where I need to be too.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
GUESS WHO'S BACK
Charlie's back!
He arrived completely unexpectedly on Christmas Day after being in Europe for these past 6 months. Best Christmas surprise ever. And McFly is definitely coming back on January 12th. The summer/life is starting to look a whole lot brighter, these two are my absolute favourites.
Yesterday I went over to Castle to hang out with Andy. However, we both ended up getting roped into cleaning and moving Sam's stuff into the front room with him and Dunk. Yep, that's right, Sam's a bonafide Castle resident now. Still unsure how I feel about this, because now I really can't get away from him. And given his recent mixed messages (Grey, come and get dinner with me, come and get breakfast with me, let's watch old 90210 together, I'm just going to fall asleep on your shoulder with my hand wrapped around your arm at a party. But um, I'm going to spend the whole of Saturday night hitting on another girl, whatevs), I think I might want to get away from him. Oh well.
But onto more exciting things. After the clean up, Charlie came over to Castle and talked up a storm about his European adventures mostly featuring 1) Drugs, 2) Girls, and 3) Drugs. Classic Charlie. The whole crew dropped over after that and it was pretty great watching everyone's faces as each of them realised our recent returnee was there. As per usual, we then drank far too much, took some dexies and went out. Although we left Charlie on a mattress in the back room, drunk as fuck. Ohhhhh C. Nothing changes.
He arrived completely unexpectedly on Christmas Day after being in Europe for these past 6 months. Best Christmas surprise ever. And McFly is definitely coming back on January 12th. The summer/life is starting to look a whole lot brighter, these two are my absolute favourites.
Yesterday I went over to Castle to hang out with Andy. However, we both ended up getting roped into cleaning and moving Sam's stuff into the front room with him and Dunk. Yep, that's right, Sam's a bonafide Castle resident now. Still unsure how I feel about this, because now I really can't get away from him. And given his recent mixed messages (Grey, come and get dinner with me, come and get breakfast with me, let's watch old 90210 together, I'm just going to fall asleep on your shoulder with my hand wrapped around your arm at a party. But um, I'm going to spend the whole of Saturday night hitting on another girl, whatevs), I think I might want to get away from him. Oh well.
But onto more exciting things. After the clean up, Charlie came over to Castle and talked up a storm about his European adventures mostly featuring 1) Drugs, 2) Girls, and 3) Drugs. Classic Charlie. The whole crew dropped over after that and it was pretty great watching everyone's faces as each of them realised our recent returnee was there. As per usual, we then drank far too much, took some dexies and went out. Although we left Charlie on a mattress in the back room, drunk as fuck. Ohhhhh C. Nothing changes.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
All My Loves Are Leaving Me
For one city or another.
Caitie's already gone to Iowa and she's gone for a year.
Clara is around for that year, but then she's auditioning for acting schools out in the big bad real world (Sydney, London, the U.S.). Thing is, she's good enough to get in, and then she's gone for good.
McFly's leaving either mid-year 2010 or at the end of the year, because he's graduated. Then it's NYC for him.
Sam is going to move to London in the middle of next year. There goes all the drama in my life, and his cute smile.
Rana is transferring unis over to Melbourne.
Even Blondie J is taking a year off uni next year and is moving down south with Dan so she can save money.
Sometimes I just want to make time stand still, so everyone would stay.
Caitie's already gone to Iowa and she's gone for a year.
Clara is around for that year, but then she's auditioning for acting schools out in the big bad real world (Sydney, London, the U.S.). Thing is, she's good enough to get in, and then she's gone for good.
McFly's leaving either mid-year 2010 or at the end of the year, because he's graduated. Then it's NYC for him.
Sam is going to move to London in the middle of next year. There goes all the drama in my life, and his cute smile.
Rana is transferring unis over to Melbourne.
Even Blondie J is taking a year off uni next year and is moving down south with Dan so she can save money.
Sometimes I just want to make time stand still, so everyone would stay.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Alexis/Animal Collective Thursday
Everyone new to the band was waiting for this:
We got that, and so much more. But to be honest, all I really remember other than that is this:
And do you want to know why? Because Caitie came over beforehand and convinced me to get the 2 tabs of acid (in our personal dialect, "alexis") out of my freezer and into our bloodstreams.
Best/worst decision EVER.
When Clara fronted up at my door, Caitie immediately informed her of our plan and her involvement in it, which was non-negotiable. Bit of a shock, one can imagine.
We walked half way to Washington, where they were playing, and put the tiny half-tabs we'd cut up under our tongues. To be honest, I didn't think anything was going to happen. You see, just after he left for London, Charlie gave me the amazing going-away present of 2 tabs of acid, saying, "It's just going to deteriorate in my room, you may as well have it". So it had been sitting in my freezer for a good 6 months, which anyone who is acquainted with the drug would know is not really that good for its potency.
Despite my misgivings, it came on in full force. I was swaying and chewing and saying things like, "I'm not inside myself, it's like I'm just a little bit outside of my head." And Animal Collective's music was made to trip to.
On the way back to Castle, Clara and I laughed for 20 minutes straight about nothing.
Max Dunkeld was pretty much the nicest guy ever (he was sober) and gave us nice little tips on tripping & life.
Andy was on a full tab, and unfortunately was having a bad trip, so disappeared halfway through a few conversations.
Sam sat opposite me and complained about his dud pill.
We just tripped out until Max wanted to go to bed and we had to find someplace else to go.
This is where things get a little silly. Caitie decided that she wanted to go back to her place and that driving her car would be the best idea. I believe I repeated the phrase, "You don't have any depth perception when you're on acid" ten times. However, eventually I caved and SOMEHOW we made the 20 minute drive from the city to her house. Kind of amazed that we're alive right now. Also not telling ANYONE that. Two people have already asked how we got to her house and I have lied and said "a taxi".
Anyway, the rest of the night was spent in Caitie's room talking and laughing and drawing until around 6am when we finally fell asleep. Although Clara lost the ability to speak for a good few hours. Under normal circumstances this would be worrying, however, on acid it was just really funny.
Sam has described the experience as being like, "reverting to your ten year old self". I thought it was more like your six year old self. Except you're unable to do a lot of things that a six year old could do. Like see/stand/write/draw properly.
The following pages are what I produced during the many hours in Caitie's room:
Oh, and I forgot to mention that no matter how much you take, acid always lasts for 8 hours. We forgot about this. Good one grrrrrls. This resulted in some serious backlash as I missed an appointment with my dad the next morning to cut down a Christmas tree.
I was labelled a "selfish teenager".
Taking drugs on a whim? Yeah, I guess that's pretty selfish.
We got that, and so much more. But to be honest, all I really remember other than that is this:
And do you want to know why? Because Caitie came over beforehand and convinced me to get the 2 tabs of acid (in our personal dialect, "alexis") out of my freezer and into our bloodstreams.
Best/worst decision EVER.
When Clara fronted up at my door, Caitie immediately informed her of our plan and her involvement in it, which was non-negotiable. Bit of a shock, one can imagine.
We walked half way to Washington, where they were playing, and put the tiny half-tabs we'd cut up under our tongues. To be honest, I didn't think anything was going to happen. You see, just after he left for London, Charlie gave me the amazing going-away present of 2 tabs of acid, saying, "It's just going to deteriorate in my room, you may as well have it". So it had been sitting in my freezer for a good 6 months, which anyone who is acquainted with the drug would know is not really that good for its potency.
Despite my misgivings, it came on in full force. I was swaying and chewing and saying things like, "I'm not inside myself, it's like I'm just a little bit outside of my head." And Animal Collective's music was made to trip to.
On the way back to Castle, Clara and I laughed for 20 minutes straight about nothing.
Max Dunkeld was pretty much the nicest guy ever (he was sober) and gave us nice little tips on tripping & life.
Andy was on a full tab, and unfortunately was having a bad trip, so disappeared halfway through a few conversations.
Sam sat opposite me and complained about his dud pill.
We just tripped out until Max wanted to go to bed and we had to find someplace else to go.
This is where things get a little silly. Caitie decided that she wanted to go back to her place and that driving her car would be the best idea. I believe I repeated the phrase, "You don't have any depth perception when you're on acid" ten times. However, eventually I caved and SOMEHOW we made the 20 minute drive from the city to her house. Kind of amazed that we're alive right now. Also not telling ANYONE that. Two people have already asked how we got to her house and I have lied and said "a taxi".
Anyway, the rest of the night was spent in Caitie's room talking and laughing and drawing until around 6am when we finally fell asleep. Although Clara lost the ability to speak for a good few hours. Under normal circumstances this would be worrying, however, on acid it was just really funny.
Sam has described the experience as being like, "reverting to your ten year old self". I thought it was more like your six year old self. Except you're unable to do a lot of things that a six year old could do. Like see/stand/write/draw properly.
The following pages are what I produced during the many hours in Caitie's room:
Oh, and I forgot to mention that no matter how much you take, acid always lasts for 8 hours. We forgot about this. Good one grrrrrls. This resulted in some serious backlash as I missed an appointment with my dad the next morning to cut down a Christmas tree.
I was labelled a "selfish teenager".
Taking drugs on a whim? Yeah, I guess that's pretty selfish.
White Heart Friday
So, two weekends ago (Friday the 11th of December) I went out with my favourite girls: Caitie and Clara.
Now, Caitie has just left today (21st of December) to go to Iowa on exchange for a whole year. As such, we felt that it was necessary to make her last two weekends HUGE. So I made it my business to get ahold of some pills, which ended up being white hearts.
A little warning: If you get the real ones, these are not normal pills. They are amazing.
We took these babies in a park in the middle of the city at around 11pm and then went back to Caitie's car which was parked in my street to drop off some stuff. Half an hour later we were all sitting in the back seat, curled up in little balls, loudly talking about:
1) How incredibly high we were
2) Masturbating
3) Our general sex lives
4) Our deepest, darkest secrets
5) How amazing we think the other two are
When we decided we could walk again, we got out and drew on walls with Caitie's crayons. Caitie wrote, "I heart [insert Grey's real name here]".
Clara drew her signature catfish, which you can find on a few walls around about.
I wrote, "Gray, Fox and Racoon", me obviously being Gray, Clara being the fox and Caitie being the racoon. Those animals just suit them. Apparently I would be a cat if I were an animal. This is what Blondie J tells me anyway. And if you ask McFly what kind of "candy" I would be, he would answer, "A bon bon". What flavour bon bon McFly? "No flavour. Just plain." Is it weird that I find this somewhat insulting? He said it with love though :P
After defacing private property, we walked to Slew, singing City & Colour's Comin' Home the whole way there, arm in arm.
Upon arrival we got a few comments from complete strangers, "Party on girls!", "Having a big night huh?". We must have been the most obvious gurners ever. I felt a million bucks though. And when I got to the bathrooms and looked in the mirror I realised I had my, "I want to fuck you" face on permanently. I just couldn't stop it!
It felt great though.
Shortly after this, I spotted my kind-of-friend-ex-fuck-buddy-what-are-we?-I-still-want-to-sleep-with-you guy, Sam. And yes, I still had the face on. I still had the attitude on.
Caitie and Clara disappeared off somewhere and I found myself sitting on a wall with Sam. "Are you alright?" he asked. I was obviously getting my stare on. "I'm fine ... but I'm kind of obsessed with seducing you." "Oh really? Well, I'd say come back to mine, but I'm staying with my boss and it would just be really awkward." "Whatever, just come back to mine, I don't even care. It'll be fine ... mmmmmm ... it'll be fine."
Short silence.
I put two fingers under his chin, directing it towards me and kiss him.
THANKGOD. It's been such a long time. And I've been so obsessed with this (see: Want Some Company?, Neuroticism and Let's All Calm Down, Shall We? as a start).
Fast forward through the rest of the incredibly high night (I remember sitting in a toilet cubicle thinking, "This is beautiful, my life is beautiful") and we come to closing time.
Sam is tugging on my arm saying he's too tired and has to go home, so I bid my girls good night. The walk home is peppered with spontaneous makeout sessions when he grabs me and I push him up against a wall. Why has it been so long?
:)
We woke up the next morning and I was still high. He felt too awkward with my parents around the house to show his face outside of my room so when it got to 3pm we crept out of the front door with some dvds in hand and made our way to where he's staying temporarily.
This is what's confusing me about Sam right now!
He's being very friendly all of a sudden. Like, let's hang out Grey! Come over and watch movies! Oh well. At least I know he's my friend regardless of whether I sleep with him or not.
And I had a fucking amazing night.
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